husky

so i'm pretty pissed off because i was at starbucks this afternoon (trying to resist the whole douwe egberts thing), and my property textbook was stolen. i mean think of it - the theft of personal property is frustrating enough, but when that property is itself a book about property, well, the irony is so thick it just makes me want to vomit.

what would be equivalent fates that could befall other textbooks? i imagine that the theft of a property book is akin to someone raping and stabbing a crim book, falsely imprisoning a torts book, or taking sullivan & gunther's magnum opus and, oh i don't know, boring it to death i suppose.

i believe that i will be bringing a conversion claim against starbucks under the doctrine of respondeat superior. while i'm at it, i'll hit 'em with a writ of mandamus, a rule 12(b)(6) motion, and possibly also something involving stare decisis conjunctivitis.

don't fuck with me starbucks! i know the law.

or perhaps not, as evinced by my torts grade. i still love sebok (or should i say, C-minus-bok) (sorry, that was stupid), but this final grade was just one last slap in the face for ol' menlove. well, i'm thankful that they're finally all in. now, armed with my stellar barely-over-2.0 gpa, i'm sure that i'll have to beat the myriad summer job offers off with a stick. or maybe i'll just stick to a job beating off myriad people this summer.

so am i crazy, or did someone actually pull off the menlovian shenanigan by asking jones to slow down today? i was sort of not paying attention, but i think it was done in a really polite manner, i.e., a raised hand and a simple, "can you slow down please?" unfortunately, i was unable to see who it was who spoke up; what's more, i have no idea whether they were actually trying to win the prize i'd offered, or if it was just a regular old concerned student. if anyone has a ruling on this, let me know, and if i owe someone some sort of prize, i'll surely deliver.

con law was pretty much what you'd expect. for some reason, i still think that the class is two hours long. therefore, once the clock hit 2:50, i started getting excited to take our customary break. by 3:00, i was freaking out... finally at ten after, i remembered that it weren't no two credit class no more.

anyhow, aside from that frustration, class was pretty good. the best part was obviously when hella went into the story about the old days at the bakery, and how he had to strap on the "husky" suit when it came time for his "bar mitzver."

(how much money would you all pay to see photos of hella wearing that suit on his bar mitzvah day? that would make my week.)

in other news, it's been amusing being addressed as "M-Dog" and "M-Love" recently on the message board. you guys make me feel so... gangster.

now last night, someone posted what i considered to be one of the funniest messages of the year. i'm talking about the one that included the phrases "so help me anthony sebok," "sundry bedraggled offspring," and "menlove-identity blueballs." that shit genuinely cracked me up, so thanks. i only wish that the author would have signed in so that i could give due props.

in response to that response, you make a persuasive argument, but i hope by now it's been made clear that i'm not in this for the "due adulation of my peers."

(although that does sound intriguing... what would it entail, exactly? case briefs and course outlines from my readers? foot massages during contracts class? autograph sessions in the cafeteria?)

anyway, if i was in this for the glory, i would have employed subtle means to reveal my identity, like putting secret messages in the titles of my entries, or hiding codes in the time and date stamp at the end of each blog, or some stupid shit like that. or i would have just told people that i was menlove already.

but i haven't done any of that. instead, i've added about sixty layers of subterfuge to this thing. i have allies who remember the funny quotes from classes so that i won't get caught transcribing them, and allies who tell me what goes on in class when i'm out sick. some of them actually assist me without even knowing it. all of my writing takes place outside of school, on a computer that no one else has access to. i'll never be caught reading menlove in school, and when people tell me about my blog, i act like i don't even read it. even if someone did figure out who i was, they still would not realize who i was. to keep the dogs off of my foxy scent, much of what i write is infused with a healthy dose of bullshit; in fact, this entire paragraph may itself be complete and utter bullshit. and although i was accused of being menlove last semester, and perhaps i'll be suspected again in the future, i'll never fess up.

hahahahahaahaa!

whoa, sorry about that evil genius mode i just went into. the point is that i value my anonymity, and the idea of adulation is less than agreeable to me. as i've said before, i just write this crap for fun, to keep myself distracted from the whole "all stick, no carrot" scenario, and also because it makes me happy to think that menlovian makes some of you guys happy.

really the only way that i'd ever come out of the menlovian closet would be if it meant that something really good would come of it. i mean something really good, something that actually mattered.

for instance, if our whole menlovian family got together and gave a shitload of money to charity on behalf of BLS in order to fight AIDS in africa or something like that, then i would come out. or if someone convinced careena collins to spend the next three years living in a cage under my bed, being let out only to work as my personal chef, housekeeper and concubine, i'd be out in a jiffy.

so i've got to hit the books again, but there's still one final note:

thank you goes out to the reader who suggested that an anonymous system of nominations for our wonderful classmates might be a better alternative. so far, i've only gotten about 6 nominations, and two of those are for the same person.

therefore, feel free to nominate someone anonymously.

this can be done in a couple of different ways. you could simply post your nomination anonymously here on the message board. the other alternative is to just use a non-BLS email address, or even make up a new account (which takes just a minute or two on hotmail or yahoo), and email me at menloveBLS@brooklaw.edu.

i'll be taking the next couple of days off to get this fucking letter written for robyn's class, so this entry will probably be it for the week. i hope you all stay warm, and lastly...

get those fucking nominations in! do it anonymously! say something nice about someone, and make somebody happy!

nominations based on nice asses are, of course, welcome.