too much tit
"this movie's got too much tit and not enough tanks. either get rid of the tits, or add some more tanks. so you know what i did... i added tanks." - Professor William O.G. Helladonk, Esq.
you can now add lenny bruce to hellerstein's posse. i like to think of hella and all of his homies (leonard bernstein, lenny bruce, huey p. newton, little stevie breyer, moon, stewie, che guevara and jimi hendrix) sitting around in some greenwich village apartment in the 60's, banging on bongos and tripping on peyote.
(can anyone compile an accurate list of all of the names hella's dropped so far this year? obviously, my list above is incomplete, and partly fiction.)
anyhow, it was a pretty fun class today, highlighted by the tit/tank speech, a good debate on natural law, and a lot of long tangents about some really boring cases.
property was also slightly more boring today, although professor jones did have some amusing moments. how great was it to see her vigorously slicing a coffee cake while answering questions about the sale of organs?
jones also did a bit more of her name game routine. listen next time to the names she calls out in class... half of them aren't even real words.
(what's your name? tom? are there any other toms in here? thomases? tommys? tompkins? tommifers? tomsils? how do you say tom in spanish?)
that spanish shit was awesome. how great would it have been had someone replied with, "si, me llamo tomas."
anyway, thanks for the delicious kosher snacks.
hasta!
posted by menlove @ 1:02 AM
3 comments
3 Comments:
I kept waiting for someone to do the Menlovian Shenanigan, and shout out SLOW DOWN when Jones was going over the elements of conversion and replevin. I only caught about five words of those definitions, and I was going to shout it out but in the end I didnt have the balls - or ovaries.
Actually, in the kind and gentle spirit of, well, menlovianism, it would be totally decent if someone could cut and paste the elements of conversion and replevin here.
TWO DAYS UNTIL A THREE DAY WEEKEND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So we're standing outside of school after Civ Pro. Jed reaches into his pocket and pulls out his last cigarette. Just as he’s about to light up, Pitler, disguised in his baseball jacket and Stargate SG 1 hat, sneaks up behind him, yanks the cigarette out of Jed's mouth and throws it on the ground shouting "No, don't do it! I have to save you from your self. How could you do such a thing?"
Jed, distraught, says "That was my last cigarette!"
To which Pitler replies "Good! Even better!" and stomps on the mangled cigarette at his feet (just to make sure).
A debate ensued about whether Pitler had committed larceny (holding no larceny because Pitler lacked the requisite intent to steal the cigarette), mischief (Pitler's vote), or assault. In any event, Pitler certainly exposed himself to a load of tort liability, including battery, (but not assault as Jed was unaware of Pitler’s impending attack), conversion, and probably trespass to chattle.
In a sheepish effort to limit his tort exposure, or at least prevent suit, Pitler dug into his pocket and offered Jed a settlement in the amount of a single quarter. I'm not sure whether Jed accepted Pitler's settlement offer or decided to hold out and retain Tony to 'go Medieval on his ass.'
A true story...
It's worth mentioning that after the first cigarette conversion, Jed pulled out his pack and, lo and behold, had another cigarette, but in the scuffle with the wily old man, it had gotten mangled. He held it up forlornly and solemnly fingered the break which made it unsmokable. Pitler, not to be outdone, grabbed it and stomped on it as well. What with the Stargate hat, that kid's got moxie!
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