the difference is clear
those of you who attended property today surely recognize the the title for today's blog. professor jones informed us that at a staff meeting, big tony let everyone know that "the difference is clear" (printed on our BLS water bottles) was, to him, a stupid slogan to put on a bottle of water.
one can't help but wonder what slogan sebok would have suggested had he his druthers in the matter... if anyone has any guesses, you know where to post 'em.
anyhow, this is gonna be super-quick because daddy's got some civ pro to read. i'm going to lay off of the beryl commentary for the next few classes while i put the finishing touches on "beryl jones, the drinking game." however, i have to mention that it is getting to be equal parts amusing and ridiculous how professor jones claims that she is unable to pronounce anyone's names.
jones: "popov? hayashi? am i saying these names correctly?"
kick-ass student response: "you got it!" (as if we know these guys, and are familiar with the pronunciation...)
today, jones admitted that she was unsure as to how to wrap her mouth around the name of this obscure artist whose name was something like vincent van "gaw". good stuff.
ok, let me take care of some business here:
attention alana paull: according to one of our classmates, you may have won the menlovian shenanigan challenge by shouting out for professor jones to slow down, albeit very politely, and perhaps unintentionally. if you believe that you do indeed deserve the prize, email me from your BLS account and i'll get back to you to arrange the "handoff" of the goods! so congrats, or whatever.
i'd also like to respond to two comments from the message board. one reader noted:
"So I've heard a lot of people complain about how hot it is in the Contracts room, but today I definitely saw a positive benefit- everybody wearing less clothing.You know how everybody is bundled up during the winter, so you get excited about seeing the slightest bit of skin? Today there were no fewer than 4 tank tops on girls and 5 tshirts on guys. Nice job people, makes me forget that its the middle of January and its fuckin ten below outside.Your thoughts big M?"
menlove replies: i thank you for your astute observation, dear reader. may i add that in addition to the random flash of skin, one cannot help but appreciate how nice some of our classmates have been looking on the days of their in-school interviews for summer jobs. some of you all really clean up nicely.
another reader asked:
"menlove, would you "come out of the closet" if you were offered fame? we're not talking BLS fame. we're talking real fame? books, newspaper, magazine articles?"
menlove replies: yes, but only so that i could sell my likeness to samsung for their cool-ass futuristic ad campaign, or maybe even to seiko, to help them sell stylin' eyewear to old cats like helladonk.
***
so i've got to sign off now. thanks to those of you who have nominated your wonderful classmates. i have received a total of twelve nominations thus far. this is a good start, but i need at least six more. the onus is on you, dear reader.
menlovian is going on vacation until i receive six or more new nominations. i am tired and i need the rest, so i'm asking for your help in the meantime... if i get all six nominations today, then i'll have a new post ready for you all tomorrow. if it takes all week, that's fine as well. these can be posted anonymously on the discussion board, or emailed to me at the usual spot, menloveBLS@hotmail.com.
i'll leave you with the following bit of wisdom from lionel hutz, attorney at law:
Hutz: No don't you worry Mrs. Simpson, I-Uh-oh. We've drawn Judge Snyder.
Marge: Is that bad?
Hutz: Well, he's had it in for me ever since I kinda ran over his dog.
Marge: You did?
Hutz: Well, replace the word “kinda” with the word “repeatedly,” and the word “dog” with “son."
Eds. note: If you're really not in the mood to work, check out this great discussion of "The Law of the Simpsons." http://www.snpp.com/other/articles/lawsimpsons.html
posted by menlove @ 1:09 AM
29 comments
29 Comments:
Hi Menlove,
I know you are tired and I thoroughly appreciate your continued work toward our amusement.
However I have a challenge for you. Infiltrate one of these staff meetings, make some suggestions (i.e. fire pole in the lobby, new water slogan, required prof. snow shovelling) and report back. That is... if you can.
Hmm. I don't know if I could go a week without Menlove. So many people deserve this prize, and I'll put in two nominations, so hopefully we'll be able to read Menlove tomorrow:
Jon Levine. Let's not forget when he had us all laughing our asses off in Crim after our first memo was due. That's an accomplishment. And while everybody else shakes in their boots after being called on by Pit, he tells the class, with wonderful nonchalance, that he stayed up watching Ferngully because he likes the soundtrack. He's also real, real chill, and seems like someone who it'd be fun to drink with.
Adam Lubow. Two things that distinguish this guy from the rest that make him wonderful: (1) He invited the section to drink at his place at noon the day after finals, "because we can." (2) You've gotta love his bookbag. I could see him hiking up to his home in the Catskills (where he's actually from) and taking out all of his survival tools from that bookbag. He's also quite knowledgeable about politics. Also, when he speaks in class, he's really clear and it makes everything easier to understand. Here's to Adam Lubow!
i want to nominate a couple people too -
Mark Antar. he's always got something to say in class, and his deep voice commands attention. even if i can't make out what he's saying, his voice is just pleasant to listen to. on a personal level, he's damn hot, and funny as hell. and i'm sure most people have noticed his after-class antics with his new girl carla -it's refreshing to see two people actually date instead of just randomly hooking up and then pretending it didn't happen. there are rumors going around that mark is menlove, but i prefer to believe that he is more reserved than that. anyway, he's great.
Andria Bouskos. cuz she's hot AND really nice. the best kind of girl.
Menlove pick me! I can hammer a six inch spike through a board with my penis!
The charming thing about the first six Wonderful People was that they just dropped whole out of the sky, all shiny and surprising and Wonderful.
But this is not charming. This is a popularity by plebiscite rather than pronouncment, an unfortunate difference because, for those of us who are not tapped as Wonderful, it means not that The Dumbest 1L doesn't think we're great, but that lots of people don't. Call it the dark side of democracy if you want, but it's cold outside, I fell on my ass walking home yesterday, a bunch of people laughed, and I'm out of clean underwear. In other words, it's too much like Junior Prom around here already.
to elaborate on the "hot" contracts classes - how bout nominating your favorite hottie
i'll start..damien's twin is looking good
I don't think that the first 6 wonderful people disappeared.
Hey guys, I'm annoyed because I seem to have lost my property book. I'd like to get more than 3 weeks of use out of a $90 book so please let me know if you've seen it or whatever. Thanks and happy letter writing.
-Alana Paull
You can't take this shit too seriously. I love this wonderful people thing, even knowing that I probably won't be listed. I nominated people, and I think that many more people in our section are wonderful that I didn't nominate. It's not like junior prom, because we're too mature to realize that this wonderful people thing is a game. And btw, I'd like to tell you that I'm glad I came to BLS, because I like you guys.
-Supporter of the nicer, gentler hayrick
Curse you, robyn Schneider, curse you. May your time in the afterlife be spent burning on hot coals, writing letters to people named Lou Ashe.
hello from your friendly neighborhood menlove!
(1) mischievous mischief sez... "I can't believe you Menlove! Not one comment on Professor Sebok's appearance at the beginning of our contracts class. Did you not see it?"
mr. mischief, the reason i did not comment on it is that i'm on hiatus pending the receipt of six nominations! (y'all are doing great; just one or two more is all i need.) but since you mentioned it, i too was thrilled to see mr. T in class this morning (w/ his new T.A. in tow? one must wonder whether he knows her name yet...), and was sad to see him leave, as i was hoping that he would be our "sub" for the day. you can only imagine what the big bokker would have to say about a farmer operating his tractor at night...
(2) alana paull... sorry about your book. hopefully it wasn't stolen from you at starbucks...
alana's plight got me thinking about books. i don't even write my name inside of mine, but do you remember back in middle school how you'd have to "cover" your books with a paper shopping bag? or was this just a west coast thing?
i hated covering my books, and always got in trouble for not having it done on time, or more precisely, not having my mom do it for me on time.
(3) i agree, lou ashe was quite the pain in the arse (i say it "arse" rather than "ass" because i grew up on england. i'm not a snob.), but in robyn's defense, she did not write the problem, and has gone on record as saying that she doesn't like it.
(4) it's an interesting thing, being menlove. someone writes something like, "I don't know if I could go a week without Menlove," or "I love this 'wonderful people' thing," and my heart lifts, and i feel good about what i'm doing here.
then someone writes, "...this is not charming. This is a popularity by plebiscite rather than pronouncement," and my spirits sink.
what's a menlove to do? well, the first thing that this menlove did was to look up the word plebiscite.
having done so, while i'm not convinced that my methodologies qualify as purely plebiscitic, i do catch anonymous's drift about the whole junior prom thing.
anyway, my point is that i actually care about the quality of everyone's reading experience, and i do try my best to keep things kind and gentle.
after all, this whole "wonderful people - part deux" thing is nothing more than an outgrowth of a pair of requests that arrived in my inbox for a reprise of last semester's popular feature.
"do it again?" i thought to myself after receiving said requests. "but isn't that unoriginal? what if people think that i'm running out of ideas, especially since i'm in the process of writing another drinking game for professor jones? plus, how can i keep it from being all about section 9 again?"
and then the answer struck me... i'd let people nominate their favorite classmates via email.
yet even this solution was flawed, as some people were loath to send me an email because they didn't even want little old me to know who they were nominating!
so i open up the nomination process, and now to some people it's become a festival of potential NIED...
now one part of me is thinking that i really hope that i didn't hurt the anonymous poster's feelings, and wondering how i can avoid doing so in the future.
yet another part of me is thinking that menlovian is a free service provided to my classmates out of the kindness of my heart, fueled of course by my procrastinatory proclivities, and that anyone who doesn't like what i'm doing can just kiss the fattest part of my ass, and find another blog to read.
i guess the bottom line is that you can't please all of the people all of the time.
anyway, there's a little glimpse into the mind of menlove.
(5) i know i made the "ultimatum" that there'd be no new posts until all six nominations rolled in, but looky what i've done here... it's almost like a new post within an old one.
i guess what this means is that i, too, don't know if i could go a week without menlovian.
i agree with that other anonymous, the one who said, "I'd like to tell you that I'm glad I came to BLS, because I like you guys."
i really do.
Menlove, we really like you too. Don't let the random whiny voice of dissent get you down. You do a pretty damn good job of being Menlove.
Anyway, I'm here to nominate Kelly Kocinski a.k.a. Kelly Kapowski as a wonderful person. She's a damn good dancer and a damn nice person to be around.
menlove thanks for that link to the simpsons article... that was some funny shit.
Menlove- the anticipation is making my goodie parts tingle. Can you tell us who has been nominated so we can not nominate them again and get to the limit (what is it, 12?).
Wow. If we did that, I think we'd be far beyond the junior prom and onto 7th grade gym class. Menlove, its your blog, why don't you exercise the blogger's prerogative and pick 'em yourself?
My cat's breath smells like catfood.
http://mewing.net/tortquiz/
This is in response to the comment regarding an anonymous poster's cat's breath. Unfortunately, I found the post to be quite disturbing, as I can't imagine why anyone was close enough to his/her feline's mouth to smell it. Cats lick their asses, which makes the proximity between the cat's tongue and the poster's nose quite foul.
it's a quote from the simpsons.
I tongue kiss my dog
...and that's not a simpson's quote!
You know what pisses me off?
I mean really pisses me off?
Robyn makes a big deal on our final memos how they can't be over 8 pages, they must be double spaced, 1" margins, 12 point font... She says that she "knows all the tricks" so don't try to get away with more than 8 pages...
Flash forward several weeks, Robyn emails us saying that if we want to see an example of an 'A' paper, we can pick one up in her outbox...
So I got one today. It was really well written. The citations were done correctly. It was filled to the brim, exactly 8 full pages.
But something didn't look right about it. It was too full. I realized that the margins were nowhere near an inch, they were only a half inch on both the right and left side! Go pick up one in her outbox, see for yourself.
An extra inch of width goes a long way when you spread it over 8 pages.
I just tried it on my final memo, which was also 8 full pages... by stretching out the margins like that, my memo became only seven pages. That means that this person got away with a full page of extra arguments, room for long cites, etc...
It really pisses me off that the 'A' student fudged the margins and got to include more arguments than the rest of us.
And it really pisses me off that Robyn made such a stink over being a stickler for the rules, then failed to notice something so blatant.
Am I overreacting? Or does this bother anyone else?
i noticed it too. it sucks.
Robyn sucks...WHAT A SURPRISE!
just so you all know, Prof. Schneider reads Menlove
so does pittler.. you guys should all feel really bad for the mean things you have said about the teachers!
this week feels like it's been twelve days long.
First off, I'm pretty sure that neither Robyn nor Pitler reads the blog. Pitler (as we all know) wouldn't touch a computer even if it tried to assault him with deadly intent. However, he does seem to hear about it second-hand.
Also, hats off to Scott Chait, who busted Robyn on the sample memo in our legal writing class today. He asked Robyn about the margins, and she reacted all too defensively, saying she never said it was an "A" memo, just that the "content" was an A, and that she wouldn't say whether the person in fact received an A. (She tried to say this with a straight face, but it didn't hold for too long). Ah...poor, dear Robyn.
(Sung to "Do Re Me")
Fuck a duck, a female duck,
Screw a baby kangaroo.
Finger-bang an orangutang,
Let an elephant do you.
Fell the penis of an eel,
Whack! the asshole of a yak.
Masturbate with a gnu,
And that will bring you back to,
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck...
(repeat as needed)
I don't really give a fuck who reads this blog. Robyn sucks ass and most of us know it. As for Pitler, I don't remember anyone saying bad things about him except how it stunk that he didn't stick to the syllabus.
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