shimmy shimmy ya

so thank you to everyone who voted in the first ever menlovian poll, and congrats to professor sebok who squeezed out a close victory over professor hunter. hopefully there were not too many problems with the voting. i've posted a couple more polls below... let me know if anyone has any trouble.

while we're on the topic of the people's choice, i have to say that sebok was absolutely at the top of his game on friday. once the guy's got a few cups of coffee pumping through his veins, he's unstoppable.

first, he truly seemed to delight in the discussion of dickens v. puryear, similing as he described the poor slob who was handuffed to a piece of farm machinery, beaten senseless by four rednecks ("y'all come out now"), then in the coup de grace, "in an act of symbolic mastery" as tony described it, the guy's hair is cut off, and castration is threatened.

sebok summed it up as a an absolute festival of anthropoligical implications.

friggin' hilarious. yet the cases kept on getting better and better, as 'bok shared his disgust with the asshole defendant in littlefield v. mcguffey, who went by a shitload of sweet names, such as osvaldo kennardo AKA the old man AKA the boss AKA wally luther. sebok basically concluded his discussion of this piece of shit by saying that he would like to "go medieval on his sorry ass."

but by far the best part of any class this week was tony talking about what he'd do if he were held against his will in a stop-n-go. here's his quote, to the best of my recollection...

"if someone tries to falsely imprison me, i say screw you. if they say they'll call the cops, i say screw you too. [when] the cops show up, i'll flash my brooklyn ID card, tell them i'm a law professor, and if they want to get hit with a 1983 suit, be my guest."

Holding: Do not fuck with Anthony Sebok.

anyway, it was a mighty fine performance. sort of bums me out that we've only got three more weeks with him.

maybe we should start thinking about some sort of torts-inspired gift for the guy... and something for pitler as well. they're both good professors, and great characters, and i doubt that any contracts and property professor combo will be able to top those two.

if anyone has access to a laparotomy pad, get on it ASAP. as for pitler's gift, i'm open for suggestions. either way, i'm in for five bucks.

turning now to a bit of sad news, it was with a heavy heart that i learned this weekend about the untimely death of russel jones, AKA old dirty bastard AKA dirt mcgirt AKA ODB AKA osirus AKA cyrus AKA dirt dogg AKA big baby jesus AKA unique ason AKA russel tyrone jones AKA joe bananas... (osvaldo kennardo didn't have shit on this guy.)

dirty was a founding member of the wu tang clan, a group whose beats and lyrics comprised a major part of the soundtrack of my high school days. a one-man multiple tortfeasor / verbal assassin / killer bee / lyrical chameleon... here's to you, russel jones.


O.D.B.... 1969-2004

i guess that's about it for now... just a few other things before i return to the reading for our now hyper-accelerated criminal law class.

someone inquired as to how long it took me to compose the hypo. i figure it took about 50-60 minutes. i had the basic story down pretty quickly, as i had the silly punchline in mind all along, but i spent a long time going back through it and adding all of the crass and ridiculous flourishes such as the sticky ejaculate and el guapo's last words.

in other words, it was a huge waste of time, but hopefully an enjoyable read for all of you.

in the spirit of wasting time, i'll close with a pair of polls. again, i'm still in the test phase, but i think i'm getting the hang of making these things.

menlovian poll #2 Pick the right one. Pick me. Do not pick me. view results Create your own free website poll

nosey menlovian poll #3 How do you manage your nose hair? little scissors tweezers electric trimmer keep my shit natural view results Create your own free website poll