barrels gone wild

it's nearly midnight, and i have 40 pages of torts to read, so of course i'm wasting my time here. i tried doing some studying earler, but my brain felt somewhat like a laparotomy pad migrating from the peritoneal cavity through an abscess into the bowel.

anyway, on with the inanity. the coolest thing about the FRCP is all of the goddam parentheses. how annoying is it to write Rule 12(b)(6) dozens of times in your notes? it(drives)(me)(fucking)(c)(r)(a)(z)(y)(.)

instead of writing Rule 12(b)(6) a thousand times, what's wrong with just 12b6? do they think that we wouldn't understand what they were talking about without all of the gratuitous parentheses? also, why does the word "Rule" have to be capitalized? is it a proper noun? is this some kind of holy text like The Bible, The Constitution, or The White Album?

i know what some of you are thinking... yes, the Rules Are Vitally Important, that's the whole point of hunter's class, right? we must know the rules, respect the rules, and lick the rules' balls, don't you get it?

no, i don't get it. that's why when we get our report cards, you'll make law review, and i'll make a doodie in my pants.

i would be remiss if i didn't jot down a few memories from today's torts class. my favorite line of the day was, "she was depressed, she was sedated, she was hungry... you do the math." sebok also once again submitted to his compulsive need to draw a bell curve on the board.

but of course, by far the greatest moment of the class - and perhaps of the entire semester - was when he whipped out his Square D switch:

"did it look... LIKE THIS!?!?!" we all jumped in shock and delight, some of seemingly wanting to burst out in a round of applause as he pointed out the nodes for the alligator clips, and demonstrated the great "action" of the switch. "there's no phantom zone on this one, baby!"

anyway, once again, i must say that sebok is the man. the dude keeps his pimp hand strong.

one final thought... you likely noticed how sebok casually mentioned that the Square D switch was a gift from last year's torts class. obviously, he's fishing for a new present this year. i'm not saying that we actually have to get the guy anything, but if we did, what would be the best torts-inspired gift? i'd love it if someone posted an idea here. of course, no one reads any of this crap except me, so i won't hold my breath.