my wonderful classmates - the final two!

jeez, these weeks are getting longer and longer. law school is hard. my spirit has been broken and my illusions have been shattered, my back is bruised from the load i've been carrying, my eyes are blurry from reading all that tiny print, and i have terrible gas. but i guess that aside from all that, i can't complain.

i mean, how nice was it to have the day off from civ pro today? even though it's only a fifty minute class, i really needed the afternoon to myself. unfortunately, i squandered it by chillin' in my hayrick, but, you know, that's just how menlove do.

i've been meaning to say hello and welcome to "LochnerMonster," who's made his or her impact felt in a major way since logging on a couple weeks ago. welcome, sir! also, "mischievous mischief," are you new? if so, thanks for loggin in. if not, it makes no difference... still good to have you.

so someone on the message board said that alana didn't get her prize for the menlovian shenanigan...

i emailed her to tell her this, but i'll say it again: alana, to claim your prize, just email me at menloveBLS@hotmail.com. make sure you email me from your BLS account. i'll holler back and let you know where you can claim your prize. (the only reason i'm not posting the info on the "handoff" here is because i don't want to be bumrushed by a bunch of menlove-identity thieves.)

ok, now that all of the business is taken care of, it's time to wrap up this semester's installment of our wonderful classmates! these final two were also popular picks, each one being nominated numerous times, and they are both personal favorites of yours truly.

some of you may not have had a chance to get to know them that well yet, as they are both in section 7, so you've probably only had a chance to hang out with them in crim or civ pro II, but i can personally attest to the fact that they are both extremely worthy of the exalted title of "wonderful." thanks one last time to everyone who sent in the nominations that made this thing possible...

so here you go, without further ado, our final two wonderful classmates!!!


wonderful classmate #11 : Uncle Denny


truly "an oldie but goodie," uncle denny is very likely the "oldest 1L in the history of BLS." born "during the hoover administration," denny spent his childhood "working as a bargee" on the banks of "the mighty mississippi." after being laid off for "excessive and groundless absenteeism," uncle denny hitchhiked to new york city with nothing more to his name than "his rugged good looks," his "impish sense of humor," a safari hat "straight from the billy hella collection," and his "trusty wooden tennis raquet" named svetlana, which he was constantly strumming, thinking it to be a ukelele.

short on "cash, smarts, and teeth," uncle denny quickly "took up residence on a subway platform at union square." he spent his nights "reeking," "nervously tugging on his wispy white beard," and "periodically wandering around" to "strike up a conversation with a frightened tourist" or to "urinate a wooden bench." during the day, uncle denny "made his living the only way he knew how," by "putting his safari hat on the ground" like some sort of "filthy tip jar," and "happily fingering svetlana" while belting out "old riverboat ballads" from "the days of yore."

some forty years later, "his beard a bit whiter" and his "teeth a bit fewer," denny was "inspired to try his luck on the LSAT" after a "chance run-in with the law" (that is, ty law, cornerback for the AFC-champion patriots), who suggested that he "quit fucking around and go to law school already."

and go to law school he did. uncle denny chose BLS because he "had always dreamed" of earning his JD at "the fifth-best law school in a major metripolitan area," and has "thrived there ever since," emerging as a "comprehensible, if a bit warbly" voice in the classroom, who is also "quite active" in "meaningful extra-curricular activities" such as brooklyn law school's "pigeon feeding guild," "mutual masterbation club" (co-founded with menlove... meets tuesdays in the 8th floor men's restroom), and the "federalist society."

so here's to you, uncle denny... you're freakin' wonderful!

wonderful classmate #12 : Lucy

"like something from a different era," lucy is truly a "unique addition to the BLS family." adept at "climbing and foraging," yet "remarkably well-suited" for "complete bipedal locomotion," lucy has won "scores of admirers and friends" from sections 7, 8 and 9.

the guys in the class, although finding her to be "a bit hirsute," rave about the "sexy" and "bulbous curves of her protruding forehead," which can "barely house" the "burgeoning brain mass" behind it, as well as her "generous" "pink posterior," and "amazing" "nipple confidence." though only "about 3' 6" tall," lucy "has an unmistakable presence" in the classroom, "often contributing to the discussion" with a "variety" of "shrieks and grunts."

"utilizing both molars and incisors" to "enjoy the caf's offerings" with an "omnivorous palate," lucy also "wows" her friends with her "opposable thumbs," making possible a "prehensile grip" that allows her to "grasp anything from a rough-hewn scraping tool" to the "penumbras of the fourth amendment" with "ease and aplomb."

going to school "full time" while "raising her son, jub-jub" as a "single mother," lucy has "accomplished some amazing feats" during her life, such as "earning three A's during first semester," using "splintered mammoth femurs" as "melee weapons" to "stave off challengers" to her spot as "alpha female in civ pro," being asked by professor pitler to serve as a "research assistant" for next summer, and "single-handedly" "debunking" the "myths of the creationists," and "exposing 'intelligent design'" to be the "sham science" that it is. "all in all," her friends say, "we're lucky to have found her."

so let's hear it for lucy, a simply wonderful person in our class!