Bonerb

well, i done fucked up and didn't post anything for quite a while. school has been insane as of late. in the last few weeks, i've had the pleasure of studying for 12 hours for an ungraded civ pro exam, and spending five hours roaming around the library to complete the research activity for our writing class. it was basically like a scavenger hunt, just really, really boring, basically pointless, and extremely frustrating. the bottom line is that i've been feeling a lot like that guy bonerb (we read about him in civ pro) who hurt himself playing basketball while being treated at a drug rehab facility. all of my recent efforts at maintaining a sustained and serious academic attitude have proven to be futile. i even got called on in class last week and, despite having done the homework, really had no idea what i was talking about. i'm as ineffective as an injured drug addict, and if my name was not menlove it would be bonerb, because that's what i am: just a big, hairy bonerb, futilely thrusting in the darkness, haplessly hoping to penetrate to a deeper understanding of the law, but to no avail.

so now it's time for my weekly dose of sebok-worship. my new favorite thing about him is how he has taken to running out of class right when break starts, or quickly gathering his things and exiting when class is dismissed. clearly, the dude has better things to do than to waste his time answering our pathetic little questions. when sebok leaves a cloud of dust, the unspoken message is, "please direct your inferior intellect and its idiotic inquiries to my teaching assistant - whatever his name is - in the back of the room. i'll be in my office, editing my draft for the 4th restatement of torts."

i've also noticed how sebok is able to mesmerize many of us at a time in class...

you know how when two people are out on a date, and they're really vibing on each other, they'll start to mimic or mirror each other's posture and gestures? like if the girl touches her chin, so will the guy, or if the guy folds his hands a certain way, the girl will do so as well. sebok's got that kind of power over half the class. i noticed in our last class that whenever sebok pauses to take a drink of coffee, at least a dozen people in class drink along with him. this is particularly true when he stops mid-sentence for a sip. check it out... and hopefully you can avoid being one of the herd of worshipers yourself.

in other news...

hella's quote of the week: "it was very common at my firm, you got a case in front of the supremes, everyone got on the metro, came down to see you... but for this case, none of them would go with me... only my wife went... then she left me... that's another story."

pitler's new favorite line: "with all due respect..." if pitler says this to you, duck. "with all due respect" is grandpa p's way of telling you that he's about expand the radius of your anus. i'm not hating on the guy... i love pitler. why? obviously because of the pizza parties. but also because of his sheer entertainment value. i can't tell if he's bored up there, or if he's having fun, but i enjoy the spectacle of watching him emasculating my classmates.

how to avoid said emasculation? first, don't answer questions from your classmates as class is beginning, because pitler will pounce on you. "oh, you like answering questions, do you? well, you'll get to answer some of mine in a minute, as soon as i get done apologizing to whomever i offended in our last class."

second, don't ever volunteer to answer a question in class. pitler does not differentiate between people he calls on and people who volunteer. this is the easiest way to get yourself into trouble in this class.

third, do not - under any circumstances - have the same last name as anyone else in the room. if you do, all of a sudden you and your same-named buddy become partners in some sort of fictitious lawfirm in pitler's brain. once again, very entertaining, so long as it's happening to someone else.

over and out.