DP

how can you not be pumped for wednesday's con law class?

i'm not done with all the reading, so this one will be short and sweet.

anyhow, 53 comments after yesterday's entry! dayum, you guys are the best. lots of new faces as well, which is always a nice touch. i may have already welcomed some of you; i can hardly keep track anymore of who's new and who's who.

regardless, greetings go out to "Altered Ego" (glad you finally decided to post, and thanks for the nickname (gentle Em)... i totally dig it), "saucy intruder" (a great name, and also a great product, available at "Toys in Babeland" on the lower east side...), "I Shoulda Been a Cocktail Waitress" (an honest and unique name, and good thing you have a plan B), "Busted Bird Hymen" (are you new? who knows anymore. either way, glad to have you, and i like the name, though it's a horrible image... do birds even have hymens? why do people have hymens? do they serve any sort of biological purpose?), and finally, "Reaganite" (welcome dude... section 4 is definitely making its presence felt. oh, and by the way, sorry i deleted your first-ever post. it's just that you can't call a professor an "uber-dickhead" here. lo siento mucho.)

i've got to get back to work now, children. like many of you are quickly realizing, i too feel that this legal writing brief is turning into an utterly soul-crushing experience. i can't fathom how i can possibly finish everything that needs to be read for property, contracts, con law and civ pro over the next 48 hours, while concurrently finding the time to read 145 pages of cases on the RLUIPA, and write up my bullshit point headings.

but trudge on we must, and before i tackle lawrence v. texas, i'd like to propose a silly little game for us to play, a contest of sorts.

here's the deal- as the months have gone by, i've developed a pretty decent set of acronyms and abbreviations which i incorporate into my note-taking in order to keep up with, for instance, the 240 words per minute that professor jones hurls at us each monday and wednesday morning.

for example:

i never write "constitution"
i just write "conny"

i never write "supreme court"
it's just SC.

a plaintiff's a P, defendant's a D, and as of this week, a contract's a K.

you get the point. the weird thing, however, is that a lot of my shorthand tends to fill my head with naughty thoughts. does anyone else have this issue?

for instance, instead of writing "statute of limitations," i just write SoL...

but when i see SoL, i think "shit out of luck."

see what i mean?

another example... it got really old always having to write "due process" every ten seconds in con law. so "due process" naturally became DP.

but whenever i see or hear about DP, for as long as i can remember (at least since 7th grade), i think about "double penetration." that's just how my mind works.

i know you're thinking, menlove, for fuck's sake, quit procrastinating, just get to the point already, then go read Lawrence. what's this game you're talking about?

well, here's the deal. whenever i write that fabulously clumsy acronym, RLUIPA, nothing good pops into my head. all i think about is the goddam "religious land use and institutionalized persons act." and that sucks. it's boring as shit. it ain't got no pop, and it sure as shit ain't got no sizzle. i don't want to have to think about the religious land use and institutionalized persons act every time i write RLUIPA for the next two weeks.

so menlove is asking for your help. i want to see who can come up with the most shocking, disturbing, original, or memorable sentence for which RLUIPA can serve as an acronym.

extra points will be given to entries that are topical, BLS-related, or that make me laugh, smile, cry, or chunder.

i figure that people will be all up in a huff again after con law tomorrow, so in the mean time, let's just get stupid.

the winner gets a prize, and i'm talking about a real, tangible piece of shit prize which you will be able to show off to your friends.

later taters.