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ok, kids, this is it. i've never done anything remotely like this before in my life, so i'm excited and nervous all at once. i believe in this cause, and i also believe that we can reach our goal of raising $1,500 for Africare.

i've prepared the following FAQ to explain how this thing is going to work. if you've got any questions, comments or suggestions, please post them on the discussion board, or email me at menlovebls@hotmail.com.

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where will our donations be going? the first $1,500 we raise will go to Africare. every additional cent will be donated to YAI/NIPD.

how can i contribute? simply make a "pledge" to contribute by sending an email to menlovebls@hotmail.com. these emails must be sent from you BLS account.

what information should be included in this email? all i really need to know is your name and how much you wish to contribute. also, unless you tell me otherwise, i'll be assuming that it's ok for me to "publish" your name and the amount of your donation. therefore, if you wish to donate anonymously, you need to let me know. also, if you want to donate under a pseudonym, tell me under what name you'd like to have your donation listed.

are these emailed pledges legally binding? by now you should know that your old friend menlove has no idea how the law works. however, i would say that any such email creates at least an ethical obligation.

my aunt fannie wants to contribute, but she doesn't have a BLS account. what should she do? you should collect money from your aunt fannie, and pledge it on her behalf via an email from your BLS account.

how will you collect the money? once we reach our goal, and after all is revealed, you can mail me a check at my address (which i'll obviously be making public at a later date). also, for those of you who wish to give me cash (or save money on a stamp), i'll figure out a couple of dates over the summer when you can find me in the courtyard in front of BLS, and give me your donation in person.

when will you collect the money? in the week or two after i reveal my identity.

ok, so when will you be revealing your identity? assuming we've met our $1,500 goal, i'll come out of the closet - at the latest - within 24 hours after all of our grades are posted.

if someone makes a pledge, then refuses to actually pay, will you be posting their picture on menlovian, and writing unimaginably embarrassing things about them for everyone to read? hell yes.

what happens if we don't reach $1,500? if we fall even a dollar short, i won't be collecting any money, and you won't learn my identity. all bets are off, and i'll delete all of your emailed pledges.

do dogs have bellybuttons? i would assume that they do, because they are mammals and have to somehow get nourished while in utero, and this presumably requires an umbilical cord. however, it's strange to think of a mommy dog with like seven or eight different umbilical cords for each of the dogs inside of her like some sort of placental marionette. plus, i've inspected my dog thoroughly, and have yet to locate anything remotely resembling a bellybutton.

what do we get in return for our donations?

• the easy answer is that you will have the lifelong satisfaction of knowing that you have made life better for a man, woman or child in a developing african nation. your gift may even be responsible for saving a life.
• we will become life members of Africare. that means that "Brooklyn Law School" will be added to the life membership wall in the main lobby of the Africare headquarters building in washington, d.c.
• if you choose to have your name posted, you may derive some satisfaction from having your classmates know what an incredibly generous mofo you are.
• finally, you will receive the answers to the following questions: who is menlove? how did he publicize menlovian without giving away his identity? what sneaky subterfuge did menlove employ to maintain his anonymity? which professor very nearly blew his cover during a class? which of his classmates came closest to figuring out who he is? is there really a princess strawberry margarita, and if so, who is she? and as i've mentioned in the past, learning the answers to these questions may cause clitorides to grow all over your body. some of you may enjoy this.

ok, one final question... how do we know that this isn't just some gigantic scam, and that you won't be pocketing the money, or spending it all on a Cosby Show DVD box set? what, am i going to break into africare's headquarters and carve our fucking name on the wall? i didn't even have the nerve to put a check next to my name on sebok's seating chart. plus, even if there was a cosby show box set, i can watch it on tv for free like six times per day. still, i understand your concern (you'll all make fine lawyers some day.) to allay your fears, i will be making available to anyone who cares to see them whatever receipts or thank you letters Africare and YAI/NIPD send to us.

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don't wait another minute. it's time to share the love. highlight and copy the following sentence:

my name is (insert name here) and i pledge to donate $ (insert amount here) to Africare!

now paste it into an email, and send it to menlovebls@hotmail.com

you kick ass!