and now for something completely different

i've been working on a sort of "menlove's greatest hits" in conjunction with my final entry (which is, by the way, coming along nicely). anyhow, i was poking around on google, i came across the following blog written by a law student at wisconsin. some of it is very funny, and i thought you'd all enjoy...

http://drunklaw.blogspot.com/2004/07/best-of-law-alcoholism.html

a genuinely compelling blog

some of you might have read about this blog in the new york times or elsewhere. if not, i'd advise you to check it out when you have a chance. it's probably the most original blogspot site i've seen thus far.

http://postsecret.blogspot.com/

hello my friends

what an unbelievable feeling it is to come home at the end of the day, and not have to do ANYTHING at all! i'm very happily enjoying summer vacation so far; i hope the same is true for all of you. so far, my judicial internship is also going well. justice rehnquist sends his regards.

well, i'd love to talk a bit about the writing competition, but unfortunately the law review folks made me sign something saying i wouldn't discuss any aspect of it until 2007.

however, i will say that there were a few things (aside from the actual writing, obviously) that annoyed me quite a bit. for instance, what the fuck was the point of forcing us to pay a photocopying fee to the school if we still had to go out and get nine copies made?

did i say nine? i meant eleven.

get your fucking story straight!

why stop at eleven? why not thirty copies? with a rubber band around each one!

anyway, i'm not mad, but it was annoying, especially considering that the odds of me making law review with my menlovianish grades are very, very slim. oh well. at least it was a fairly interesting topic.

so... what are all of you up to? is anyone else still hungover from monday night? how are the summer jobs going? big plans for the three day weekend? maybe we should all get together somewhere in the days ahead. i'm down for whatever.

ok, i'll maybe post again between now and the day after our last grade gets posted. but really, pretty soon, menlove will be finito.

thanks to those of you who have submitted requests for topics for me to write about in the final entry. i think that most of your requests have been pretty reasonable, except for the one about which guy in the class i'd most want to hook up with. i'll answer that question in the same way i answered the final three questions on beryl's exam, which is to say that i'll not answer at all.

anyhow, keep your requests, comments and stories coming. i always enjoy hearing from you guys.

later taters,

-menlove

hallelujah!

people, we have been through a lot this year...

we've spent hundreds of hours in class, and even more hours in the library. we've spent hundreds of dollars on books, and after paying tuition, have put ourselves tens of thousands of dollars into debt. we've taken eight exams, a blue book quiz, and written a client letter, a memo about some crazy chick with a paintbrush, and a brief about an even crazier chick who just wanted to return her nutrients to the earth.

lord knows, we've been through a lot.

we've read every kind of case imaginable, and sometimes we've been called on to show what we've learned. gora, poser and nan handled us gently. sebok had us doing mental gymnastics. and pitler hit us with all the subtlety of a socratic shotgun.

we've had pointless scavenger hunts in the library, and tedious scavenger hunts in the westlaw lab.

and let's not forget the moot court tryouts. some of us were so good, we had to do it twice. others of us were even dumb enough to sweat through an additional trial ad tryout.

man, did we put ourselves through a lot.

we worked into the wee hours of the night. as the rest of the city slumbered, we wrestled with the commerce clause and the dormant commerce clause, utilitarianism and retributivism, claim preclusion and issue preclusion, proximate cause and but-for cause, IRAC and CRAC and IRA and IRAP, the statute of limitations and the statute of frauds, the FRCP, USC, & UCC, reversions and remainders, impleaders and interpleaders. apparently, there was even some sort of capability problem in contract law, though i still am not sure what that's all about.

hell yeah, we've gone through a lot.

the crazy-ass time crunch during question #4 on an exam. the late nights worrying about class rank and summer jobs and whether there would be a "+" or a "-" next to a class grade. entire weekends spent outlining, and i'm talking about beautiful, sunny weekends where you can hear the children laughing and playing outside. long train rides with sullivan & gunther on our backs. calculating how many more classes until we were on call. realizing that we've only got two minutes left to proofread an entire exam, or discovering, to our horror, that beryl was working her way down our row, and we're next.

people, we've been through a lot. it was enough to shatter the soul of a lesser man or woman. yet somehow we have survived. they threw everything they had at us, yet we are still standing: exhausted, bruised and battered, but somehow even stronger, smarter, and tougher than before.

congratulations to all my fellow 1L's for surviving one of the toughest rites of passage imaginable...

we made it through a year of law school!

i hope that everyone will be out in full force tonight, this weekend, and all summer. it's obvious that next year could very well be even tougher than this one, so let's live it up while we can.

so now it's time to get down, to wang chung, to shake our groove thangs, or perhaps even to rock out with our cocks out (or with our vaginas out, as the case may be).

i'll see you all at union bar tonight. it should be a night to remember, or at least to struggle to remember. the first round's on me...

***

before i go take my pre-celebration disco nap, i just want to give a quick update on the state of menlovian.

you all should pretty much figure that i won't be revealing my identity until the day after our final grade is posted. until then, feel free to keep floating your theories around on the message board. i enjoy it very much. it makes me feel all tingly in my swimsuit areas.

and to anyone who believes that they have figured me out beyond a reasonable doubt, shoot me an email at menloveBLS@hotmail.com, and tell me who you think i am. if you're right, i may give you special mention in the final entry, credit where credit is due, and all that.

speaking of the final farewell menlovian entry, since you guys went the extra mile, and gave so generously to BLSforGood, i want to make sure you get your money's worth out of the final blog.

as i've mentioned before, in the final entry, i'll be answering questions such as: how did i publicize menlovian without giving away my identity? what sneaky subterfuge did i employ to maintain my anonymity? which two professors very nearly blew my cover during class? which of my classmates came closest to figuring out who i am? is there really a princess strawberry margarita, and if so, who is she? who are the truly wonderful people i've gotten to know this year? am i really so crazy about the cosby show? what actually goes on in the 8th floor men's room? who is the person (or perhaps the people) whom i've already told about my identity? and finally, of course, who is menlove?

however, you all deserve the best entry i can write, so what i want to know is what you'd like to see me talk about in those final lines. i'm will to share almost anything, within reason, so let me know what you's enjoy reading about, and i'll do my best to oblige.

you probably won't hear from me too much between now and then. i'll likely write a little somehthing after the law review competition, and maybe the occasional hello or random update, but otherwise, it's pretty much finished!

i think i just had my first actual sigh of relief since august! it's over!! it's fucking over!!!!

you guys rule, and i hope that everyone feels as relieved, exhilerated and proud as i do right now. see you tonight, and hopefully i'll be seeing you all summer.

much love,

-menlove

popov v. hayashi: the movie

in honor of our recently vanquished property class, i thought that some of you might like to know that there's a new movie coming out about the barry bonds case called "'up for grabs." it actually looks pretty good based on the website. although, truth be told, i doubt i'll ever see it, as my goal is never to think about property class again.

***

on the message boards, someone wrote: "Menlove -- I experienced a mild burning sensation for the 27 hours Menlovian was off the air. Since you said before that you couldn't continue next year because that would reveal your identity -- and now you have agreed to reveal your identity -- why not keep on keepin on? I'm sure someone will back me up on this."

menlove replies: um, thank you for the compliment, and i hope that the burning sensation has cleared up. (i got a rash, man.) however, the menlovian must end this year, for two reasons:

(1) enough is enough already;

(b) people donated in reliance on my promise to come out - at the latest - on the day after our last grade is posted. there might be some sort of contractual something or other operating here, and if i've learned anything this year, it's that the subtleties of contract law are well beyond my ken; and

(4) look, man, i've got certain information, all right? certain things have come to light. and, you know, has it ever occurred to you, that, instead of, uh, you know, running around, uh, uh, blaming me, you know, given the nature of all this new shit, you know, i-i-i-i... this could be a-a-a-a lot more, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, complex, i mean, it's not just, it might not be just such a simple... uh, you know?

i'll tell you what i'm blathering about, man. the whole thing has been fun while it lasted, but it's gonna be over soon. i always thought i'd ride silently, facelessly off into the sunset, knowing that i'd succeeded in hiding my identity for a full year from a shitload of very intelligent people. it was a perfect plan, a swiss fucking watch. that was the beauty of it, the simplicity. if the plan gets too complex, something always goes wrong. if there's one thing i learned in 'nam--

(ok, sorry about all the lebowski quotes. i'll try to stop now.)

but then, menlovian somehow spawned BLSforGood, and my planned exit from the BLS blogging scene took a wild turn (in the big picture, a turn for the better), and now i'm bound to reveal myself in just a few weeks.

of course, i am proud of what we've done with BLSforGood (the royal we, you know, the editorial--), and i'm even thinking about putting it on my resume, sandwiched in between "moot court honor society, trial advocacy division tryouts, march, 2005" and "law review writing competition, picked up the packet: may, 2005."

i know that some of you may be excited to find out who i am. some of you have even told me this to my face, and i've overheard it in random conversations. however, i have to warn you that if you've got your hopes up too high, the whole thing is going to end up being somewhat anti-climactic.

when all is said and done, i'm (probably) not someone outside of section 9, and i'm (almost certainly) not your lady friend, or your special lady, and i'm (very likely) not professor pitler.

in reality, i'm just a dude in your class. maybe you've gotten to know me really well this year, maybe we're just friendly, or maybe we hardly speak; regardless, i'm just a regular guy who clearly likes to put off studying for as long as possible. (case in point: it's one a.m., and i've yet to crack my con law case notes for the semester. i sold the S&G text in february to pay the cable bill. booyah! heathcliff huxtable, you know i'd never let you go.) hence, menlovian.

***

ok, so here's the deal: it's been a long, extremely stressful and ridiculous, often tedius but occasionally amusing blurry whirlwind of a year. we've all given somewhere between 35-100% of our "best effort." whatever your level of input, you've just got to keep it up for two more days. and then... our fucking troubles are over, dude!

keep on keepin' on,

-menlove

in case you need a break...

seems like years ago that we first played the helicopter game together. in that spirit...

if fee simple absolutes are simply driving you absolutely crazy, you might enjoy one of these small diversions:

study break #1 - if property's got you feeling sadistic, here's a quick fix. just be careful where you point that thing.

study break #2 - a difficult puzzle that's best for those of you who are either (1) fairly clever, (2) fairly stoned, or (3) just friggin' sick of studying.

study break #3 - the small fish make silver. the big fish make gold. some fish eat other fish alive, and make top dollar. it's a lot like law school.

good luck with the studying, all.. i'll see you on the flip side.

-menlove

halfway home

wow, so it's been quite a dramatic week, eh?

no matter which way you slice it, you've got to feel good about the fact that we're done with civil procedure. the exam really wasn't too terrible... of course, there was the standard time-crunch factor. i spent a good thirty minutes writing about murphy's case against dr. buttocks (that was my little pet name for "bowtocks"), and by the time i finished writing about his defenses, i realized that i still had like twelve more people to write about. needless to say, the subsequent parties such as blair jason and the newspaper all got short shrift from me, but such is life.

aside from the fact that question one had about thirty different parts to it, the exam was fine. it was nice that all four questions sort of built off of the initial fact pattern, so we didn't have to switch gears and wrap our mind around an entirely new cast of characters each time.

anyway, two down and two to go. not too shabby.

so everyone seemed quite a bit more chilled out today about the whole feldman situation, and i'm not really going to talk about it, since virtually ever conceivable opinion has already been recorded on yesterday's message board.

and i'm not really going to talk about how two of our classmates very nearly came to blows. though i loved the idea about the "decathalon" on yesterday's board (especially the dance off. that would be sweet).

but what i will talk about is a couple of things that really made my heart skip a beat. i guess that these could certainly be construed as clues to my identity (assuming that they are true); fortunately, you all don't have to worry about my identity anymore (more on that later).

1. gora mentioning how he's been reading our blog... my god, my stomach pretty much flipped inside out when he said that. of course, he might not have been talking about this blog. still, you guys could have learned my identity right there and then: i was the guy who instantly turned a few shades whiter, and who looked like he was going to chunder. (i can't believe i said "chunder." i haven't used that word in years.) anyway, i used to have the same reaction whenever sebok said the word "menlovian."
2. what really freaked me out was that dude's cell phone ringing during the exam. i done did nearly shatted myself. thanks, man! it wasn't a big deal, though. no one was doing anything important.

okay, so of course i have to talk about one last thing before i sign off...

i don't know how it happened, but it looks like we've raised $1,500 for Africare! holy crap! anyway, i'm really proud of all of you guys who contributed, and of course very thankful as well.

as you have all performed on your promise, i will of course be following through on mine as well. as you may remember from this here blog i wrote last month, i'll be revealing my identity sometime between now and the day after our last grade gets posted. we'll have plenty of time to discuss precisely when and how that will be happening in the weeks ahead.

but before i sign off and teach myself property, i thought you all would be interested in knowing that:

• it took us 50 days to reach $1500
• 37 people have donated so far, with an average donation of nearly $42.oo
• 17 of those 37 were in section 9; 10 were in section 8; 3 were not 1L's
• we had a whopping 14 lionel hutzes!
• currently, we have raised $1540!!

as you by now should know, the first $1500 will be going to Africare. this donation will be made on behalf of BLS. "brooklyn law school" will be added to the life membership wall in the main lobby of Africare's headquarters in D.C. we're hopefully going to make a significant difference in the lives of some very deserving people. and that's pretty fucking cool. i'm proud of - and grateful to - everyone who contributed.

everything over the initial $1500 will be donated to YAI/NIPD. i'd encourage you to check out their website to learn about the amazing things that they're doing. contributions are still welcome, so anyone who has been meaning to pledge, but who hasn't gotten around to it yet can certainly email me at menlovebls@hotmail.com. every little bit helps.

so i may post again over the weekend if the mood strikes me, but otherwise, you probably won't hear from me again until after the property exam.

hang in there, guys. just think... a week from today, we'll all be waking up on a saturday morning, extremely hungover, many of us in the arms of a hottie from civ pro class we've had our eye on all semester, and realizing that we are done with a year of law school. booyakasha!

stay frosty,

-menlove

one down, three to go

so... was it just me, or was it not so bad? really, what else would you expect from the dozer? he's a fair guy who taught straightforward lessons, and our exam was fair and straightforward. anyway, i hope that you all did well on it. and to those of you who just finished a monstrous torts exam, i hope that went well too.

the issue now is trying to figure out how the hell i can motivate myself to start studying for civil procedure only hours after that mammoth contracts exam. last semester after our first exam, i believe that i went out and tied one on... unfortunately, that's not an option here, as we'll be back under the gun once again in just a couple of days. oh well. fortunately, there will be plenty of time to get some serious drinking done this summer. i hope some of you will join me for a beer or two.

so... i don't want to give away which room i was in for the exam, so i can't go into any specifics on this next topic... but perhaps one of you can do it for me: what the fuck was the deal with the proctors?

what the fuck!

could someone please offer a description of what was going on in each room so that those who weren't there to enjoy it can get a sense of what we were dealing with? from what i've heard, things got a little silly in both rooms. gracias.

well, time to figure out what the hell dean gora was talking about all semester.

t-minus ten days...
t-minus $381...

let's rock and roll. i may write something more before the next exam; otherwise, i'll talk to you all this weekend.

-menlove
*BLSforGood*

procrastination, plain and simple

hi guys, just wanted to drop in and say what's up. in other words, i need a break. if i have to look up one more UCC provision, i'm going to regress to an infantile stage of constant wailing, gurgling, and thumb-sucking. truth be told, the UCC is so much more pleasant to deal with than its cruel and unforgiving cousin, the FRCP, but that doesn't mean that it ain't also sucky in its own way.

in response to 11:50 pm, regarding my word count and such, i have no control over that number. for some reason, blogger stopped keeping track a few months back. if anyone knows how i can get it fixed, let me know. i'd certainly be interested in knowing how much crap i've produced this year.

to answer your other question, the picture on my profile is a photo taken of me from when i went to space camp. we actually flew a mission to jupiter. it was sort of a strange trip. i had trouble getting the pod bay doors open. i digress...

i hope that the reading days haven't been too painful for anyone. before i get back to work, i just want to mention that i'm amazed by the fact that nearly four hundred dollars have poured in for Africare over these last several days. this is truly amazing, and i am finding myself more and more moved by your generosity. it seemed like every time i opened my mailbox this weekend, there was another 25 dollars waiting to be added to our total. we've had donations from some of my closest friends, and donations from people whose names i did not even know. we've had donations from kids outside of our civ pro class, and even donations from 2L's and 3L's. pretty freakin' cool if you ask me.

thanks also for those of you who have been giving me kind words in the emails along with your donations. at heart, i'm basically just a sentimental fool, so much of what you guys have written has meant a lot to me.

finally, i've always gotten a kick out of hearing people theorize about the beginnings of menlovian, or to try to trace its roots back to a single person, or to an email, or now, to a locker room. of course, this issue is one of many that will be resolved if BLS becomes life members of Africare; however, the one thing i can tell you now is that i've always been of the "whoever smelt it dealt it" camp.

anyone still looking to donate a dollar or two can drop me a line at menlovebls@hotmail.com. remember, i can only accept pledges from BLS accounts. also, i believe that i have written a thank-you response to every pledge, so if you've pledged but not heard back from me within a reasonable time, you might want to email me to make sure you've been accounted for.

i'll talk to you all again sometime midway through this week. stay sane, stay cool, and as my dad said to me as i went off to college, "keep it covered."

-menlove
*BLSforGood*