BLS bloggers

i was just thinking about professor poser... that he is just about the most likeable, amiable and friendly professor i've ever had.

how great was it when he talked about listening to wqxr in the morning as he shaves? i'll never forget his impression of the "verbal fine print" at the end of the radio commercials. we all knew what he was talking about, but try as he might, he just couldn't get the words out quickly enough. it made me just want to give the guy a big hug or something.

on the topic of contracts, i have to say that i'm pretty psyched for tuesday's class, in which shammy and demian will be making their BLS acting debuts. what in the world does poser have in store for us? i'm hoping for some sort of romantic / dramatic scene, topped off with just the teensiest dollop of stage combat.

thanks go out to the person on the discussion board who brought www.intermeddler.blogspot.com to our attention. for those of you who missed it, this is a blog written by three 1L's in section 2; i believe that the bloggers are two women and one dude. there's some great stuff there... i just spent the last twenty minutes checking it out.

on the topic of "blawgs", it turns out that the BLS blogosphere is home to several other shining stars. this list is in no way comprehensive; these are just the only ones i'm aware of so far...

• www.andrewraff.com is a great site created by an "upperclassman" from BLS, and is full of some very intelligent writing and interesting links. Definitely worth taking a look at.
• www.warshaw.blogspot.com... i'm not sure how often aaron is updating this these days, but as i've said before, it's a good place for an informed take on music, politics, and the NBA.
• www.the345wall.blogspot.com is another one i stumbled upon lately after one of its many authors posted something on my message board. though i'm not sure what the title is in reference to, it's got a lot of funny writing, pics, and links. for instance, if you go there now, you can find a link to the fred durst sex tape that just hit the internet!

total disclosure: i just watched the distinguished mr. durst in action, and i have to say that it was basically a sub-par celebrisex tape. for my money, i'll take r. kelly handing out yellow discipline any day over fred durst's big hairy gut. although admittedly, i was amused when fred threw out his great one-liner, "touch my balls and my ass." i mean, what can you say about the guy except that he truly he does it all for the nookie.

the other great part of the tape was when he turned the camera on his own dumb mug. true, true, i suppose that everyone makes some pretty funny faces while they're getting their swerve on. but come on, fred, you're a friggin' rock star! you've got to at least try to look sexy or something.

ok, gotta run... big week coming up. on top of all of the usual crap, i get to prep for the moot court trial advocacy honor society association team thing, or whatever it's called. there's no frickin' way in hell they're going to let a menlove like me get on that team, so i'm already pretty thrilled in advance that i get to go through the process of reading the packet, writing a speech, getting all nervous, wearing a suit to school, and bombing in front of my peers... all for nothing.

oh well. three weeks until vacation... i'll talk to you all tomorrow.

viewer mail

i must say that my spirits are high these days. now that the brief is out of the way, things have been looking quite a bit brighter. (you've got to wonder, though, why it's called a brief, when it's so frickin' long.)

i'm actually feeling motivated to get caught up in con law, to start exercising again, and to really work hard to line up some interviews for summer jobs. plus, i'm ready to do some serious drinking this weekend, and in the weeks ahead.

i hope everyone else out there is feeling similarly relieved and optimistic. and for those of you in the international legal writing class who are still wrestling with your briefs... hang in there. the sun will shine on you again soon.

thanks to those of you who gave me the positive feedback on yesterday's craptastic tale. i'd actually like to respond to some of your responses...

• "By my count Menlove, you've invented at least three shitty new words for us today:excretorian, fecalogue, and defacatory." well, thanks, i guess. although defecatory is definitely already a real word, and excretorian is nothing more than a creative suffixation (i'm not sure if suffixation is a word, but whatever), i will take full credit for the invention of the word fecalogue. note to the OED committee... fecalogue (noun): a story about poop.
• "Menlove please don't ever reveal your identity. You scare me." don't worry, i won't be revealing my identity. but don't be scared. it was just a story. all things considered, it was a pretty harmless one, too. believe me when i tell you that i'm capable of writing stuff that's much, much more demented, stories that would curl your teeth and tear away your faith in humanity. but it's all just fiction. any long time menlovian reader with his or her salt has realized by now that i'm pretty much just here to entertain, cheer, and spread good will.
• "Menlove, if only you could condense your tale of fecal adventure into a poem that could be recited in property class..." that would be something, but i'm going to leave that to you guys. i know we've got some closet poets out there, eh? show me what you got.
• "menlove,if your grades are what you say they are, i recommend you drop out now...you've got a heck of a career in front of you as a writer. while i'm not sure who'd print a story of your fecal adventures, you've definitely got some fine, creative writing skills..." well, thank you. i'm flattered, honestly. i know that these are just silly stories i toss off, and that i have the luxury of doing it anonymously, but to be completely honest, whenever i post something here, i do feel like i'm putting a little piece of myself on the line, and it makes me feel good to know that people enjoy the stuff that i write. and by the way, if any of you would ever like to read some of the real stuff i've written over the last few years in creative writing classes, stuff that i'm actually proud of, stuff that gets revised, rather than just getting tossed off during a procrastination break, let me know. i've even written a children's story that is pretty awesome, and is, thankfully, 100% doodie free. what would be even better is if any of you has connections to a major publishing house... i'd certainly be happy to drop out of law school faster than you can say heathcliff huxtable.

well, you know i try to keep these entries to 25 minutes max. obviously, last night i more than doubled that limit, so i'm going to cut this one off right about now. enjoy the weekend, and hopefully our paths will cross at the bars over these next few days.

later, taters.

don't read this

it's been quite awhile since i've regaled my readers with a totally inappropriate tale of my exploits and escapades in the 8th floor bathroom.

my long-time readers undoubtedly remember that i've been - for quite a long time now - on a quest for the perfect bathroom at BLS. (see consume / disburthen, 9/12/04, my second menlovian entry ever!) my search for the perfect piece of porcelain has led me far and wide, from the highest floors of 250 joralemon to the lowest - ahem - bowels of the library.

having been unable to obtain keys to the locked bathrooms in the basement and the third floor, i have ended up settling for a relatively fantastic commode on the 8th floor.

technically, the 8th floor bathrooms are for faculty members, but i've been using them all year, and thus far no one has - ahem - raised a stink about it, and although there have been some raised eyebrows, that don't bother me.

i believe that the two secretaries outside of robyn's office are, by now, very used to the fact that every day around 10:45, i'm going to come strolling on by them with a copy of a.m. new york tucked under my arm, acting like i have official business around the corner.

(or maybe they don't notice me. i don't know... they do often seem to be rather busy talking to their friends on the phone, and looking at pictures of decoupage online. i mean, they can't both be robyn's secretaries, can they? have you ever compared those two with the secretaries outside of dean wexler's office on the 9th floor? i could write a whole blog entry on that contrast. you know what? maybe i will. anyway, i digress...)

the point is that i feel very much at home in the 8th floor head, and make it my business to get in some quality time there at least once every day before class begins.

well, today was no different.

though, that's technically not accurate. in that i was in my assigned seat at 10:45 a.m., reading the free but surprisingly entertaining newspaper, then i guess that today was no different.
however, the thing that happened at 10:46 made it completely different. it was one of the most bizarre, frightening, and wonderful things that i've ever witnessed.

and that's what i'm writing about today.

what i'm about to tell you is completely true.* at times, as it was happening, i could hardly believe it myself, and my recollection here is admittedly a bit colored by the shock and disorientation i felt as the events were unfolding, but nevertheless, this actually happened. i couldn't make this shit up if i tried.

so there i was, minding my own business. i was done with my property reading, so no worries on that front, and everything was coming out on schedule, so no worries in terms of being late for the beryl jones experience. though i'd only been in there for a couple minutes, i was already on page 4 of the paper. (i'm a fast reader, and that's what i like about a.m. new york, it's meant to be read during a twenty minute commute, but i can read the whole thing during a fifteen minute dump. i guess in a sense, there is a commute of sorts going on, it's just that my lower intestines are like the subway tunnels, and the toilet is like the train station, and the train itself... well, i guess we'd have to call it the douwe egberts express, it's not the most pleasant train to ride on, and the passengers, well, let's just say some of them are a bit - ahem - corny, and some of them are - ahem - absolutely nuts... and, now that i think of it, this must be the foulest, stinkiest digression i've ever taken in one of my blogs, which is really saying something, considering the already-shitty quality of much of what i write. anyway, i digress...)

the point is that i was minding my own business, and life was good.

until all of a sudden, out of nowhere, the door to the men's room bursts open. it didn't just open, it burst open, as if someone had thrown a pretty powerful forearm into it, nearly jarring it off its hinges.

now i'm fairly used to having company in there between 10:45 and 11 in the morning. as it turns out, i'm far from being the only excretorian who prefers the cushy confines of the 8th floor.

the problem, as you can imagine, is that my fellow poopers are largely comprised of tenured professors, guys who have been dropping BLS bombs since the mid-80's, guys who might not take so kindly to some lowly 1L menlove creeping on their turf.

the point is that in these situations, i either have to get out of there quickly before they emerge from their stall, or somehow outlast them, which can be rather difficult, considering that with some of these old timers... well, let's just say the plumbing don't work so good, prostates and hemorroids can run amuck; the bottom line is that i can end up being in there for quite awhile waiting for nature to run its course, which puts me at risk for being late to class. you get the point.

so where was i? oh yes, the door flies open, and in a whirlwind of motion (shoes squeaking on the floor, a briefcase hurriedly dropped), the door to the stall next to me is violently opened and quickly slammed shut again.

i can tell right away that this is an emergency situation, but i didn't realize at the time quite how frantic my next-door neighbor actually was. he begins fumbling with his belt and pants, and as he did so, he starts mumbling and moaning out loud in frustration and fear... "oh no... oh no..."

so i'm sitting there thinking, jesus tittyfucking christ, dude, wondering what in the world is going on, and i can hear his wild paroxysms and struggles with his belt buckle getting more and more violent, and his voice getting louder... "come on.. oh no! oh god!"

and just then, he must have gotten his buckle open, i hear his pants and underwear come down in one quick motion, but at that exact moment, in the split second between the trousers dropping and his ass hitting the toilet seat, it hits me like a barrel of flour - i know that voice!

now i'm not going to tell you who it was, because - let's face it - if you were a professor, a professor who either taught us in the past, or is teaching us now, you wouldn't want to be implicated in my horrific little - um - fecalogue either, now would you? so for the sake of anonymity, we'd better just refer to him as professor normbert gorbokstein, esquire.

unfortunately, this realization - that i was pooping next to a prof - had little time to set in before things really started getting out of control.

(anyone who is feeling nauseous or uncomfortable reading what i've written thus far, STOP READING NOW. this ain't going to be pretty.)

(i'm fucking serious... come back tomorrow. i'll write something about beryl's sneakers. it'll be funny, and it'll make you forget all about this unfortunate business.)

(still here? good. enjoy. this one's for you, dear menlovian reader. just don't say i didn't warn you.)

***

it began with all the subtlety of a bolt of lightning. there was no hesitation, no warning, no false start. and it shrieked like the unholy squealing of an eviscerated kosher pig. it splashed like an open fire hydrant on a south bronx summer morning. and it flowed - oh, how it flowed.

professor normbert gorbokstein's ass faucet had been turned on full blast, and it wasn't about to let up. peeking under the partition, i saw his legs kicking in the air, several inches off of the ground, as if a thousand volts of electricity were passing through his body.

i don't know if this thundering defecatory denouement lasted for five seconds or a full minute. i was completely flabbergasted. it was a cacophony of gushing feces and rapid, staccato gaseous expulsions, all reverberating within the churning waters of the toilet bowl. but then, as quickly as it started, the flow somehow relented, trailing off to some sad and defeated-sounding squirts and toosieburps.

professor gorbokstein let out a huge sigh of relief, and so did i. my relief, however, was short lived, because just as the sound finally died out, the tiniest whiff of his waste wafted into my stall, beginning the most unconscionable olfactory assault imaginable.

it smelled like a zombie's colostomy bag... like a maggot orgy in a putrefied piece of fetid fish flesh that had been unceremoniously shoved up my nose. and as i began to smell not just the penumbra of the dump, but the vile core itself, i believe that i died a little on the inside.

i don't know what came over me, but the smell and the moment simply became too much for me to handle, and something had to be done. without thinking, i sort of leaned towards the wall between us, and in a desperate half-whisper, stammered out: "courtesy flush, please."

thankfully, professor normbert gorbokstein was a kind man, and he obliged by hitting the lever.

however, any relief that i felt was short lived, as i immediately knew that something was wrong. it just didn't sound right.

and when i heard the professor's "oh, fuck" ring out next to me, i knew that the water - dookie and all - was going up, not down.

i mean, what would you do in this situation? i'm sitting there with my jeans around my ankles, the newspaper still splayed out across my lap, and a piece of doodie pretty much frozen in its tracks hanging halfway out of my ass.

there wasn't any time to react. i heard the water beginning to trickle down to the floor. then the trickle became a steady, sloppy stream, which i first heard, then saw running across the floor, quickly breaching the sacred space on my side of the partition. it was the foulest, crustiest, most evil liquid i'd ever seen... runny yet chunky, speckled with bits of blood and what appeared to be couscous (or some variety of crushed and steamed semolina), and strangely enough, more yellow in color than brown. let's call it an ochre-burnt umber hybrid.

in one quick motion, with a squeeze of the old assphyncter, i decapitated the piece of poop loitering in my rectum, then wiped furiously (and, admittedly, incompletely, but desperate times, you know?), yanked up my pants, and darted out of the stall, avoiding the creeping doom on the floor by no more than a split second. i thought i was home free, but then i heard that voice from behind the stall again.

"wait!" it pleaded, the paused for a few beats. "who... who are you?"

oh fuck, i thought. i didn't know what to say. the guy freakin' knows me, for cryin' out loud. i had to come up with something, and quick, but unfortunately, i had exhausted my entire supply of pseudonyms over the last few weeks of legal writing, as robyn has had a seemingly insatiable appetite for new ones. but try as i might, i simply could not come up with anything plausible, so i just spurted out the first thing that came to mind:

"groves v. wunder," i said, hardly believing it myself, even as the words came out of my mouth.

"what?" he replied.

shit!!!, i thought to myself. he's going to know i am a student. i had to amend my answer.

"my name is groves v. wunder, attorney at law."

no sooner than i had said it, i was thinking, what the fuck was that, menlove! i mean, what kind of asshole has the name groves? and did the current situation call for such formality that i needed to offer up the middle initial??? and who in their right mind calls themselves "attorney at law"??? i felt compelled to clarify.

"i'm an... uh... a visiting professor from SUNY law school."

this time, there was no reply. i was totally busted. he must've known my voice, and through the crack by the door, i think he could probably see my face as well.

but miraculously, he decided to play along. it was like a little legal fiction we both decided to accept, if only for the time being.

"mr. wunder, i'm terribly sorry to bother you, but would you mind handing me some paper towels before you go?"

i was only too glad to help. "of course not, sir. how many do you need."

i'll never forget his reply. he was almost laughing as he said it, and his voice was full of relief, humility, and embarrassment, but it was still tinged with a hint of pride.

"you'd better give me everything we've got."

so i went over by the sinks, and dug my fingers as far as they went inside of the paper towel dispenser (the professors have the same crappy, stubborn dispenser on the eighth floor that we have in our restrooms), and pulled them out, a dozen at a time. after pulling out every single one i could, i gingerly tiptoed over to the door of the stall, and held them underneath the door.

he grabbed them, and without another word, i slipped out the door, back out into the sanctity of the hallways of the 8th floor, knowing that i'd never set foot in that bathroom again.

***

*by true, i mean completely and totally false. thanks for reading. -menlove

return to menlove's greatest hits

what happened?

all drink and no sleep makes menlove an absolute mess.

i haven't slept in a long time. i haven't been to class in like a week. way too much tequila this afternoon. i never want to think about amos again. or kiryas. or that dude jesus jihad. (did anyone else meet him?) no more lining up the right margin on the table of authorities, no more joint statements of senators hatch and kennedy, no more lynn berkley and the children of the corn, or whatever the fuck they were called.

thank god we're done dealing with the Repeated Lubricated Use of Industrialized Penises Act. for now at least.

been meaning to say hi to "campaniella." thanks for signing in. are you really a grad student from st. louis? and if so, how did you stumble upon menlovian?

hello also to "human paraquat." i actually get this reference. lots of dude fans out there, it seems.

i must sleep. i'll be back to the regular routine tomorrow. my dixie wrecked.

t.v. shows that mattered

warning: today's menlovian contains some images not suitable for some viewers. discretion is advised. although compared to that horrible link someone posted on yesterday's message board, this stuff is nothing.

sorry to have confused some (or at least one) of you with my obscure reference to jessie spano.

jessie spano was a character on one of the all time great t.v. shows, saved by the bell. the quote i hit you with yesterday came from an episode called "jessie's song." in this 30-minute slice of t.v. heaven, jessie (played by elizabeth berkley), kelly kapowski (tiffani-amber thiessen) and lisa turtle (lark voorhies) form a kick-ass girl pop trio called "hot sundae."

by the end of the episode, jessie succumbs to the pressure of midterms and band practice. to cope, she starts using - and quickly becomes addicted to - caffeine pills.

slater warns her how dangerous the pills can be, and jessie responds, "yeah, well not as dangerous as geometry!" great stuff right there.

eventually, after various confrontations with her friends, jessie breaks down, and utters the immortal words... "i'm so excited! i'm so excited! i'm so... scared."

unable to perform with hot sundae at "the max," the girls get spazzy-ass screech to fill in for her. let the good times roll.

it was a great episode, and in retrospect, i realize that if not for "jessie's song," i may never have had the courage to confront my own caffeine addiction. thank you, brandon tartakoff.

so here's a pic of elizabeth berkley circa 1990...



basically cute... wholesome... a little mannish for my tastes, but she certainly seemed like a girl who had her head on straight.

well, we all know where this story ends up...



good lord! obviously, this pic is from showgirls, one of the worst movies ever... truth be told, it's a movie so bad, it's actually quite good.

showgirls dialogue sample #1:

Zack Carey: Why did you stop hooking? You had your future pretty well mapped out for yourself

Nomi Malone: I did what I had to do.

Zack Carey: Just like you did with Cristal.

Nomi Malone: I'm not a whore.

Zack Carey: No... you're not. You're gonna be a big star. Your face is gonna be up on billboards. You're gonna make a lot of money for the Stardust.

Nomi Malone: What about Molly?

Zack Carey: I'll make sure he gives her enough money, she can have a dress shop. Tell me something, how much did you charge?

[Nomi is confused]

Zack Carey: Hooking

Nomi Malone: Fifty. Hundred sometimes.

Zack Carey: You got low self-esteem baby, you're a fantastic fuck.

[Nomi spits in his face]

***
wow. someone actually wrote all that. but zack's got a point, she put on a pretty amazing performance in the swimming pool for him. her wild gyrations knocked about a foot of water out of the pool. the whole time she was riding him, i'm wondering, "what would mr. belding think???"

showgirls dialogue sample #2:

Nomi Malone: Don't they have brown rice and vegetables?

Cristal Connors: Do you like brown rice and vegetables?

Nomi Malone: Yeah.

Cristal Connors: You do?

Nomi Malone: Sort of.

Cristal Connors: Really?

Nomi Malone: It's worse than dog food.

[Cristal laughs]

Nomi Malone: It is!

Cristal Connors: I've had dog food.

Nomi Malone: You have?

Cristal Connors: Mmm-hmmm. Long time ago. Doggy Chow. I used to love Doggy Chow.

Nomi Malone: I used to love Doggy Chow, too!

[Cristal and Nomi touch their chips together]

***
wow... freakin' awesome shit. what would sebok have to say about all of this? for those of you who plan auctions to raise money for whatever causes you care about, think about putting that up on the block: a private screening of showgirls for you and somefriends with special guest commentary provided throughout by big tony. throw in some pints of guinness, and i'm in for two hundy.

***

however, elizabeth berkley wasn't the only chica to go from moderately cute to absolutely smokin' hot after saved by the bell.

you know where this is going:

before:



after:



mommy, there's something moving in my pajama pants!

pretty much the same thing happened to lisa turtle.

before:



after:



hot damn, kilogram! it's amazing what a bayside high diploma will do for you.

***
while we're on the topic of t.v. shows that mattered... does anyone recognize this guy?

http://www.morrisoncohen.com/bio/bio_saviano.htm

only 6 days of hell left... hang in there!

-menlove

return to menlove's greatest hits

tori, rey, spano & douwe

my entries between now and tuesday will be short and sweet. also expect some entries written by special guests in the next few days as i finish the brief.

a few quick notes for today, then back to work...

i usually don't do this sort of thing, but there was a really great message on the comment board yesterday, and i don't want it to get lost underneath this new post. here it is for those of you who missed it.

"Folks, as a self-proscribed tree hugger galore, can I make a suggestion?We all drink gallons of coffee a day and wwhether its Starbucks, DD, or the caf, usually we use the disposdable paper. That's a whole lotta waste if you thibnk about it.But we have a simple alternative at a fingertips that can, with little effort and no additional cost, really help in cutting down on the waste. The caf sells those plastic re-usable coffee thingamagingers that for $5. You get a cup of coffee with the purchase plus five free cups thereafter which means the damn thing pays for itself. Most importantly, you get to play a personal roll in reducing waste. Not trying to lecture, just wanted to point out the option. Go trees and fresh air!"

right on, dude.

in other news...

my flabbers were literally gasted when i read that someone would pay $500 for a date with menlove. unbelieveable! i'm flattered, although i'd have to assume that it's a joke. i'm not sure how i'd be able to reconcile an appearance in an auction with my need for anonymity. perhaps i could just wear a mask to the auction, like my homie rey mysterio...



out of curiosity, in today's email from our esteemed SBA rep, it was mentioned that several section niners have been nominated for the auction. does anyone know who from our class (and section 8 as well) will be "on the block" in the charity auction?

that event is going to be sweet. didn't they do that on saved by the bell once?

"i'm so excited! i'm so excited! i'm so... scared."

or was it 90210?

donna martin graduates!

zzzzz....

i'm just so friggin' tired right now. the amount of work we're dealing with is utterly dehumanizing.

does anyone care to join me for a dozen or so whiskey shots on tuesday after the brief is handed in? we'll surely need it, as these next seven days will certainly not be fun.

thanks to everyone who wished me a happy v-day via email or on the message board. someone even sent me an electronic greeting card! it was a nice valentine's day for me, and i hope that the same was true for all of you as well.

as i said, i'm tired, and i still haven't even finished contracts. the point is that i should be working right now. the same is probably true for you. however, for those of you who really need a study break, here are two articles you might enjoy:

this article has been making the rounds in the last few days, but i thought i'd post it here for those of you who might have missed it. it's the nice little story about the judge and the penis pump...

http://www.guardian.co.uk/uslatest/story/0,1282,-4786833,00.html

finally, here's an interesting article about affirmative action and law school admissions from this weekend's ny times... (registration required)

http://www.nytimes.com/2005/02/13/weekinreview/13liptak.html

finally, someone emailed me and asked me how my summer job search was coming along.

the short answer is that it isn't coming along whatsoever. or if it did come at all, it unfortunately came all over itself, and is now passed out like a drunken lover, in a deep and seemingly endless slumber, oblivious to the rapid approach of the month of may.

i'm really freaked out about this, but i'm wondering, should i be? is it normal to be jobless on february 15th of your first year of law school?

let's find out...

Do you have a summer job yet? Yes No I am not a 1L, Menlove! view results Create free website polls $5 Web Hosting!

thanks for reading. i'll see you all on the flip side.

-menlove

beryl jones: the drinking game!

ah, property class... what a wonderfully wacky way to start off the week.

it's pretty obvious that professor jones has supplanted sebok as this semester's most colorful character in front of the classroom. think about it...

the name games. the celebrity references. the scattershot lecture style. the kosher dessert trays. i mean, where else at BLS are you going to find this level of excitement and unpredictability on a weekly basis?

so in honor of this infinitely intriguing professor, and in the spirit of wanton, public, pre-lunch intoxication, it is time for another drinking game.

you all know the rules: get yourself a nice 40 oz. malted beverage, a bottle of scotch, or perhaps a quart of your favorite mixed drink. the game starts when jones starts lecturing (often while the class is still talking) and it ends when she dismisses class, you pass out, or urinate in your pants, whichever happens first.

the following list shows the "berylesque" (berylian?) behavior you're looking for, and the resulting action on your part... have fun!

• if she hands you a "slower" sign before class... drink one
• every time someone actually uses the "slower" sign... drink one
• whenever she plays any variation of the name game (such as doing that whole "are there any other williams / willamenas / wilburs" thing, or calls out names to test herself during break)... drink two
• if she says the word" microphone"... drink one
• if she says "yes, no, maybe so"... smile & drink two
• when she mentions "brad pitts"... try not to laugh out loud, and drink three
• every time she says, "i can't believe nobody..." (as in "i can't believe nobody was an art history major," or "i can't believe nobody knows latin")... shake your head incredulously and drink two
• whenever she quotes from "the love song of j. alfred prufrock"... drink two, while talking of michelangelo
• when she refers to durkenminier & krier as "stubborn old men"... drink one
• if she chides a late-comer for crossing in front of her instead of walking around the long way... drink one
• every time a late-comer walks in front of her, and she says nothing... drink two
• if she begins slicing coffee cake while lecturing... lick your chops and drink one
• whenever she moves that chair off of the podium area... drink one if she moves it off with ease, drink two if it requires several awkward grunts and pushes, and if the chair happens to wrestle her to the ground, stop drinking, put down your beer, and go help out your professor, asshole!
• whenever she's stumped by a question, and says that she'll answer it on monday... toast the person who baffled her, and drink three.
• when discussing a case, if ever she is unable to pronounce the name of one the parties (e.g., popov, hayashi, or vealencis), and asks the class for help, drink one
• if she fiddles nervously with a zipper or rubberband, drink continuously until she stops
• when she analogizes the instant case to an anecdote about her daughters or husband, drink two, then call your mom after class and tell her you love her
• if she mentions that she's "been teaching forever," "doing these same cases for years," or that "this stuff bores me," drink until the pain goes away
• every time beryl breaks out one of her ballet moves (this includes when she kicks a leg up and does a spinning 180 degree turn, or when she holds the podium with one hand, and leans out over the step, and kicks her leg out repeatedly as if she's warming up for her recital)... drink two while doing a demi plie
• if she's wearing any color aside from black... drink five as soon as she enters the room
• if ever she wears her hair down... drink seventy, then start braiding the hair of the person sitting in front of you

much love goes out to professor jones for inspiring this silly game. have fun everyone! i may have left a few rules out. if anyone thinks of any others, please post them here. cheers!

-menlove

***

return to menlove's greatest hits

i've lost my mind

what an amazingly fun day this has been! between the point headers, the sweet summer job search bullshit, and the kick-ass 70 page reading on that fabulously fascinating subject known as the capability problem in contract law, it's been a day to remember.

on yesterday's message board, someone asked me, "Where's your blog theme from?"

now i'm not really sure what you mean by blog theme. the color scheme and header and all that is just a standard template provided by blogger.com. the title, "menlovian," is a reference to a great case we read in professor sebok's torts class last semester called vaughn v. menlove. it was about this dude menlove whose hayrick went up in flames which then damaged someone else's property. menlove's defense was that he was too stupid to know that he was supposed to have prevented such an occurence. sebok was constantly referring to things, people, and actions as "menlovian," i.e., idiotic. i sort of identified with the dude (menlove, not sebok). it just seemed to be a nice, catchy theme for my blog, and obviously the name stuck, and i've since written a buttload of entries as "menlove."

i'm not sure if that answers your question or not, but whatever. i've worked enough today.

i'm going to bed, because right now, everything i'm looking at looks pretty much like this:



have a great weekend, everyone. and by the way, you may want to bring a flask or a 40 oz. to property class on monday...

freaking out

like you, menlove is very busy trying to finish the point headings, plus twenty pages of contracts. (in terms of doing the civ pro reading for tomorrow... that's completely out of the question.) i'd love to stay and chat, but i have much to do, promises to keep, and miles to go before i sleep, so this will be a quickie. i know i always say i'll make it quick, then i write a shitload, but i'm for real tonight.

congrats to "thing of danger" for winning the RLUIPA acronym contest. from this point on, the RLUIPA shall be known as the "Repeated Lubricated Use of Industrialized Penises Act." thing of danger: you can email me at menloveBLS@hotmail.com to claim your prize.

thanks to that dude scott chait who delighted us with his "hypocritical" arguments with hellerstein today in con law. he also had the best line of the semester so far: "i'm not a lawyer in the bedroom." instant classic.

time to get back to work. you should do the same. if you really must procrastinate, try the delightfully simple "squares" game. my record is 7600. i don't think anyone will be able to beat it, but if you're feeling lucky, punk, here you go... http://www.ebaumsworld.com/squares.html

hasta pronto.

DP

how can you not be pumped for wednesday's con law class?

i'm not done with all the reading, so this one will be short and sweet.

anyhow, 53 comments after yesterday's entry! dayum, you guys are the best. lots of new faces as well, which is always a nice touch. i may have already welcomed some of you; i can hardly keep track anymore of who's new and who's who.

regardless, greetings go out to "Altered Ego" (glad you finally decided to post, and thanks for the nickname (gentle Em)... i totally dig it), "saucy intruder" (a great name, and also a great product, available at "Toys in Babeland" on the lower east side...), "I Shoulda Been a Cocktail Waitress" (an honest and unique name, and good thing you have a plan B), "Busted Bird Hymen" (are you new? who knows anymore. either way, glad to have you, and i like the name, though it's a horrible image... do birds even have hymens? why do people have hymens? do they serve any sort of biological purpose?), and finally, "Reaganite" (welcome dude... section 4 is definitely making its presence felt. oh, and by the way, sorry i deleted your first-ever post. it's just that you can't call a professor an "uber-dickhead" here. lo siento mucho.)

i've got to get back to work now, children. like many of you are quickly realizing, i too feel that this legal writing brief is turning into an utterly soul-crushing experience. i can't fathom how i can possibly finish everything that needs to be read for property, contracts, con law and civ pro over the next 48 hours, while concurrently finding the time to read 145 pages of cases on the RLUIPA, and write up my bullshit point headings.

but trudge on we must, and before i tackle lawrence v. texas, i'd like to propose a silly little game for us to play, a contest of sorts.

here's the deal- as the months have gone by, i've developed a pretty decent set of acronyms and abbreviations which i incorporate into my note-taking in order to keep up with, for instance, the 240 words per minute that professor jones hurls at us each monday and wednesday morning.

for example:

i never write "constitution"
i just write "conny"

i never write "supreme court"
it's just SC.

a plaintiff's a P, defendant's a D, and as of this week, a contract's a K.

you get the point. the weird thing, however, is that a lot of my shorthand tends to fill my head with naughty thoughts. does anyone else have this issue?

for instance, instead of writing "statute of limitations," i just write SoL...

but when i see SoL, i think "shit out of luck."

see what i mean?

another example... it got really old always having to write "due process" every ten seconds in con law. so "due process" naturally became DP.

but whenever i see or hear about DP, for as long as i can remember (at least since 7th grade), i think about "double penetration." that's just how my mind works.

i know you're thinking, menlove, for fuck's sake, quit procrastinating, just get to the point already, then go read Lawrence. what's this game you're talking about?

well, here's the deal. whenever i write that fabulously clumsy acronym, RLUIPA, nothing good pops into my head. all i think about is the goddam "religious land use and institutionalized persons act." and that sucks. it's boring as shit. it ain't got no pop, and it sure as shit ain't got no sizzle. i don't want to have to think about the religious land use and institutionalized persons act every time i write RLUIPA for the next two weeks.

so menlove is asking for your help. i want to see who can come up with the most shocking, disturbing, original, or memorable sentence for which RLUIPA can serve as an acronym.

extra points will be given to entries that are topical, BLS-related, or that make me laugh, smile, cry, or chunder.

i figure that people will be all up in a huff again after con law tomorrow, so in the mean time, let's just get stupid.

the winner gets a prize, and i'm talking about a real, tangible piece of shit prize which you will be able to show off to your friends.

later taters.

adam and eve - what choice did they have?

in theory, the first month of any semester is the best time to go out with friends, have a few drinks after class, and come in a bit hungover. everyone knows that things are just going to get a lot tougher once exams roll around and we have to start outlining and all that fun stuff.

unfortunately, this semester has pretty much sucked ass from day one. i don't know what it is about this brief we're working on for legal writing, but it's pretty much sucking all of the fun out of what should be a fairly laid-back part of the semester.

my bibliography for the brief is due tomorrow, and it's total doo-doo. i only have four halfway-decent sources (none of which i've actually read), and i've totally forgotten how to do the correct citation form. do i do the whole string cite? or just the short cite? and what order should they be listed in? alphabetically? chronologically? geographically? autobiographically? (thank you nick hornby for that one.) plus, i don't think it's really called a bibliography, but i wrote "BIBLIOGRAPHY" on the top of the page anyway, since i did all of my reasearch at the biblioteca.

damn, law school is a drag.

not to mention the fact that there's this little class called civil procedure that i've hardly even thought about for two weeks. the return of dean gora tomorrow just adds a whole new layer of stress and drama to this 1L roller coaster.

so anyhow, on a more positive note, con law was once again really interesting today.

hellerstein had some great one-liners (such as the one that inspired the title of today's blog), and even took us on a trip down memory lane, back to the days when "you'd go driving up to the cloisters" where the girls and boys would "make a decision." just the thought of him in the back seat of the car (wearing the "husky" bar mitzvah suit?) with some girl (the schechter poultry chicken plucker's daughter?) was enough to bring a smile to my face.

however, class really started getting hot during the last fifteen minutes or so, when the conversation turned from abortion to gay marriage. the exchange between professor hellerstein and ms. heuser was certainly one to remember.

my two cents on the whole thing?

kristina did a great job of articulating her position, sticking to her guns, and so on. i think i would have been a lot more flustered than she was, especially considering that hella was asking her pretty much one question after another for ten straight minutes, and they were hard questions being delivered at a fairly rapid-fire pace. you've got to respect someone who has the cojones to verbalize some of those arguments, especially when the majority of the class is clucking and groaning all around you.

i was particularly impressed, however, as i watched hellerstein do his thing up there. i can picutre him now, leaning in as he asked the questions, one fist propped up on his back hip, the other on the lecturn, his quick mind always ready with the next question before the previous one had even been answered, clearly enjoying the moment.

i mean, it was very much like witnessing a really well-executed cross examination. especially fascinating was how hella kept on incorporating the same questions in different ways, each time eliciting an increasingly candid response from ms. heuser.

in the beginning, she maintained that it was "offensive to human nature." a few minutes later, it was "repugnant to natural law." and by the end of the class, hellerstein had her saying that such a lifestyle was "morally bankrupt."

anyhow, it was easily one of h-bomb's best performances, and for once i can say that i'm actually looking forward to doing the reading for wednesday's class.

see y'all with the dozer tomorrow morning.

-menlove

game over

menlove has been eating beers and drinking chicken wings since noon. he will be back tomorrow, and hopefully sober.

until then, say goodbye to the helocopter game, and try out this new diversion...

my best score is 7600. i defy you to beat it!

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/squares.html

menlovin it! (+2 final wonderfuls)

so i mentioned how you postings were like menlove doggy treats, and you all go out and get me a whole box of milk bones!

so far, they've been thoughtful, intelligent, hilarious, irreverent, and even a bit offensive! a nice bit of everything. some of you will end up being really great lawyers some day.

i'd like to extend my very warmest greetings and salutations to some of the newer people to log in to this here little web thingy... "revolver544" (keep blazin' them big guns, baby!), "Anonymous" (nice name; i wonder how long it's been since you first signed in... maybe i never noticed it. anyway, glad you're here!), "penal bonds" (obviously a smart and eloquent mofo - or maybe a fafo - that's short for father fucker... i mean, how the hell am i supposed to know which way you swing? anyway, i like what you wrote), and finally, welcome to "eric stratton" (rush chair, damn glad to meet ya...).

i gotta send out props to prof schneider for delaying monday's homework assignment so that we can watch "101 most starlicious makeovers" sunday night on E!... that was one email from her that i was glad to see.

quick digression...

one must wonder what sebok's response would have been had one of us asked him to postpone an assignment so that we could watch television. i mean, does tony even watch the super bowl? does he watch tv? the only thing i ever remember him mentioning was "Garden State," but i think that's a movie. think about it, we know so much about his thoughts and arguments about tort law, tort reform, tort theory for airplane accidents, and so on. but we know so little about how he sees the rest of the world... i mean, think how great it made you feel when he'd start going off topic, talking about garden state, or talking shit on the subway - "respect!" - or even just last month when we heard through beryl his thoughts on BLS bottled water. the point is that i'd like to go spelunking in the dude's mind. how sweet would it be to sit down and interview the big bokker on any topic you'd like? if i could, i would love to hear his insights and witticisms on subjects such as:

• which BLS professor he feels is the biggest, most worthless sack of shit
• aside from the water, what's his take on the caf's salad bar, douwe egbert's stand, etc.
• in-depth analysis of his favorite movies
• how he lost his virginity
• what's his take on that ashlee simpson chick, and so on, and so forth, ad hilarium

now that i think about it, sebok really should have his own reality show. i'd stay up until three in the morning watching him scoop his cat's litter box, riding on the subway, on the phone with zipursky, whatever.

well, i guess i should get back to business here. after my thwarted attempts at "humor" via the failed uncle denny and lucy links, i noted that there still were two final wonderful people left to mention, and then we'll be able to wrap up this wonderful thing for the year.

so what more is there to do except to introduce them??? i'm going to say goodbye for now so that i can go pull on my penumbra for awhile. enjoy these final two, have fun in contracts tomorrow, and a great weekend.

-menlove


wonderful person #11 : Adam Lubow



adam is a great guy. several things "distinguish him from the rest." adam "invited the entire section to drink at his place" after finals. "the guys's got a great sense of style," his fans declare. "you've gotta love his bookbag" which one can only imagine is full of "survival tools." also, his "phish-show-inspired" "beard and winter hats" clue his classmates in to adam's "laid-back" and "chill / intense hybrid" personality.

adam "knows a shitload" about "politics, policy, and current events," and like so many other of his wonderful classmates, "adds really interesting stuff" and "intriguing insights" to our classes.

a "kind," "hilarious," "tolerant" and "friendly, engaging" person, "adam is the kind of guy you want to be friends with" because "you know he's not a user... he's not in this game only to help his own cause... and that's pretty friggin' rare these days." one fan even went so far as to say that she'd "love to join him on a cross-country road trip, and maybe even end up in some little vegas chapel!" others proclaim, "get to know him," because "if you haven't introduced yourself by now, he might not have met you yet." (someone actually emailed that line to me. it makes no sense, but i had to post it because it cracked me up.)

so here's to you, adam... you're flat-out wonderful!


wonderful person #12: Jennifer Williams



"the best of the best," "easily the nicest girl in school," and "easy to love," the compliments for this wonderful classmate came pouring in almost from day one. jennifer is "a thoroughly lovely and funny person" who "always makes you happy whenever you're around her." seemingly always "going out of her way for others," jennifer "told me i did a good job after i got socraticized in class, and it made me feel so happy." "i would do anything for her," one friend declared, because "she's the real deal."

fans and secret admirers rave about jenny's "amazing eyes and smile," and "funky, funky style," appreciating the fact that "she's not a follower, a kiss-ass, or a wimp." also cited as being "so easy on the eyes," one classmate proclaimed that "having her across the room in contracts makes every tuesday, thursday and friday a good thing." plus, as two readers noted, "she's never afraid to speak her mind," and when she does, "you know that she's coming from the heart."

an "amazing chick" who also "happens to be a great surfer," jennifer is "probably the coolest person i've met since college," a "great friend" and a "scholar."

so here's to jennifer, our final wonderful classmate!

noogies

so i usually try to keep my blogging time to 20 minutes per night, but last night i got all carried away. i thought to myself, "self, wouldn't it be funny if on the last night of the wondeful classmates, i made up fictional quotes about non-existing classmates?" "yes," myself replied, "that might just be the kind of thing that people enjoy."

so my selves were in agreement, and i set out to find two really funny pictures about which i could create fictional wonderful classmates. i found some great ones, and spent close to an hour writing all of that crap you saw in yesterday's entry, then i spent another fifteen minutes figuring out how to resize them so that they'd resemble BLS facebook pics... you get the point. it was a big job, but fun.

i was really happy with the results, and was looking forward to all of the funny responses on the message board. (your posts on the board are like doggy treats for old menlove... i'm crazy for them.) i was pretty sure i'd written a winner.

flash forward to school today, walking around before or after class or during break, i saw several people reading my blog (also like candy to menlove), but the images i'd worked so hard on only appeared on one or two peoples' screens! for most of you, the images failed to render.

therefore, what i'd written about the "winners" was pretty much meaningless for most of you.

anyhow, it was a bummer. tomorrow i will be posting the real final two wonderful folks. however, i still want to provide the links so that those of you who care can see what "uncle denny" and "lucy" looked like in their bls photos.

here's lucy's link: http://www.archaeologyinfo.com/australopithecusafarensis.htm

here's uncle denny's link: www.worldportrait.com/images/0010.jpg (unfortunately, this site is down as of wednesday night... if the link doesn't work when you try it and you are really desperate to see uncle denny, do a google image search for " worldportrait " and you'll see at least a thumbnail pic... denny's the one in the hella safari hat strumming the racket.)

shmeh.

so speaking of hellerstein, i thought today's class was really a good one. it's rare that he allows us to let loose like that, and it felt good. although there certainly was a bit too much of people just shouting out their opinions while other people (including hellerstein) were talking, many good points were raised.

also, as usual, there were way, way too many dudes talking, and too many women sitting there shaking their heads, but not adding their voices...

that sucks.

but all in all, it was probably the coolest con law class in weeks, so props go out to hellerstein for making it happen.

property today... not so good. beryl was under the weather, and taking notes for two hours today, i felt like i was flailing around in the middle of a swarm bees.

she basically covered five cases at once, rattled off all sorts of definitions, and reviewed about a half dozen concepts, all at the same time. literally. if you were to read my notes from today's class out loud, it would sound like a room full of schizophrenic monkeys talking dirty during an orgy.

on top of this, the microphone kept clicking on and off, often several times during a single word, and professor jones just kept coughing and blowing her nose. it was madness.

anyhow, hopefully she'll be feeling better soon, and they'll get the mike fixed by then.

adios, amigos.

i'll leave you with a transcript from the greatest five seconds of class this week:

tom: "sure they can do it. that's the state's job!"
hellerstein: "what, to cut your noogies off?"

classic.

my wonderful classmates - the final two!

jeez, these weeks are getting longer and longer. law school is hard. my spirit has been broken and my illusions have been shattered, my back is bruised from the load i've been carrying, my eyes are blurry from reading all that tiny print, and i have terrible gas. but i guess that aside from all that, i can't complain.

i mean, how nice was it to have the day off from civ pro today? even though it's only a fifty minute class, i really needed the afternoon to myself. unfortunately, i squandered it by chillin' in my hayrick, but, you know, that's just how menlove do.

i've been meaning to say hello and welcome to "LochnerMonster," who's made his or her impact felt in a major way since logging on a couple weeks ago. welcome, sir! also, "mischievous mischief," are you new? if so, thanks for loggin in. if not, it makes no difference... still good to have you.

so someone on the message board said that alana didn't get her prize for the menlovian shenanigan...

i emailed her to tell her this, but i'll say it again: alana, to claim your prize, just email me at menloveBLS@hotmail.com. make sure you email me from your BLS account. i'll holler back and let you know where you can claim your prize. (the only reason i'm not posting the info on the "handoff" here is because i don't want to be bumrushed by a bunch of menlove-identity thieves.)

ok, now that all of the business is taken care of, it's time to wrap up this semester's installment of our wonderful classmates! these final two were also popular picks, each one being nominated numerous times, and they are both personal favorites of yours truly.

some of you may not have had a chance to get to know them that well yet, as they are both in section 7, so you've probably only had a chance to hang out with them in crim or civ pro II, but i can personally attest to the fact that they are both extremely worthy of the exalted title of "wonderful." thanks one last time to everyone who sent in the nominations that made this thing possible...

so here you go, without further ado, our final two wonderful classmates!!!


wonderful classmate #11 : Uncle Denny


truly "an oldie but goodie," uncle denny is very likely the "oldest 1L in the history of BLS." born "during the hoover administration," denny spent his childhood "working as a bargee" on the banks of "the mighty mississippi." after being laid off for "excessive and groundless absenteeism," uncle denny hitchhiked to new york city with nothing more to his name than "his rugged good looks," his "impish sense of humor," a safari hat "straight from the billy hella collection," and his "trusty wooden tennis raquet" named svetlana, which he was constantly strumming, thinking it to be a ukelele.

short on "cash, smarts, and teeth," uncle denny quickly "took up residence on a subway platform at union square." he spent his nights "reeking," "nervously tugging on his wispy white beard," and "periodically wandering around" to "strike up a conversation with a frightened tourist" or to "urinate a wooden bench." during the day, uncle denny "made his living the only way he knew how," by "putting his safari hat on the ground" like some sort of "filthy tip jar," and "happily fingering svetlana" while belting out "old riverboat ballads" from "the days of yore."

some forty years later, "his beard a bit whiter" and his "teeth a bit fewer," denny was "inspired to try his luck on the LSAT" after a "chance run-in with the law" (that is, ty law, cornerback for the AFC-champion patriots), who suggested that he "quit fucking around and go to law school already."

and go to law school he did. uncle denny chose BLS because he "had always dreamed" of earning his JD at "the fifth-best law school in a major metripolitan area," and has "thrived there ever since," emerging as a "comprehensible, if a bit warbly" voice in the classroom, who is also "quite active" in "meaningful extra-curricular activities" such as brooklyn law school's "pigeon feeding guild," "mutual masterbation club" (co-founded with menlove... meets tuesdays in the 8th floor men's restroom), and the "federalist society."

so here's to you, uncle denny... you're freakin' wonderful!

wonderful classmate #12 : Lucy

"like something from a different era," lucy is truly a "unique addition to the BLS family." adept at "climbing and foraging," yet "remarkably well-suited" for "complete bipedal locomotion," lucy has won "scores of admirers and friends" from sections 7, 8 and 9.

the guys in the class, although finding her to be "a bit hirsute," rave about the "sexy" and "bulbous curves of her protruding forehead," which can "barely house" the "burgeoning brain mass" behind it, as well as her "generous" "pink posterior," and "amazing" "nipple confidence." though only "about 3' 6" tall," lucy "has an unmistakable presence" in the classroom, "often contributing to the discussion" with a "variety" of "shrieks and grunts."

"utilizing both molars and incisors" to "enjoy the caf's offerings" with an "omnivorous palate," lucy also "wows" her friends with her "opposable thumbs," making possible a "prehensile grip" that allows her to "grasp anything from a rough-hewn scraping tool" to the "penumbras of the fourth amendment" with "ease and aplomb."

going to school "full time" while "raising her son, jub-jub" as a "single mother," lucy has "accomplished some amazing feats" during her life, such as "earning three A's during first semester," using "splintered mammoth femurs" as "melee weapons" to "stave off challengers" to her spot as "alpha female in civ pro," being asked by professor pitler to serve as a "research assistant" for next summer, and "single-handedly" "debunking" the "myths of the creationists," and "exposing 'intelligent design'" to be the "sham science" that it is. "all in all," her friends say, "we're lucky to have found her."

so let's hear it for lucy, a simply wonderful person in our class!

my wonderful classmates - redux!

though i'm swamped in work for this one-credit hour class of mine, i'd be remiss were i not to take a few minutes out of my evening to continue this semester's edition of "my wonderful classmates!"

going again through the nominations you all sent in, i could not help but notice that something like 70 or 80% of them cited a nominee as being "hot," "a hottie," or "hot as hell," sometimes all for the same person.

it seems like spring is already in the air, and that we have all officially become a bunch of low-down, licentious, libidinous, horny, bawdy, randy, raunchy, ribald, and downright theobaldian animals in heat.

right on!

however, don't think that hotness alone will merit selection for this semester's wonderful six... as yesterday's picks illustrated, it takes more than just a pretty face to get your portrait blown up to horrific proportions on the pages of menlovian.

that being said, let's get to the festivities. today's wonderful folks are a pair of ladies who hail from section 8. strangely enough, as i was going through the facebook to get their pics, i noticed that they both also went to school at UC santa barbara. must be a nice place to spend one's undergraduate years.

did they know each other in california? do they know each other now? these are not questions to be answered by menlove. my job is simply to faithfully collect, synthesize and share your nominations, with minor editing for clarity, of course.

so without further ado, here they are... two more wonderful people in our class!


wonderful person #9 : Alana Paull



emerging this semester as "a genuine academic all-star," alana's classmates say that her "intelligent" classroom contributions "make sense" and "help other people to understand the stuff better." "i constantly copy her notes in class since she's so smart," the only drawback being that she "types something like 70 wpm." alana's intellectual prowess "extends beyond the classroom" as she is "pretty much an ideal study group member."

guys rave that alana is a "total hottie" "with a smile so nice, it makes me glad i got rejected by columbia and nyu." her "cool persona" and "warm personality" make her an "ideal friend who will someday make a terrific lawyer."

while she is "really fun to chill with," and "always able to cheer up a friend in need," alana is also a "fascinating" person with "diverse interests." "fluent in both french and italian, and conversational in bulgarian of all things," alana is a "one of a kind" "classy" and "silly in all the right ways."

so here's to you, alana... looks like you're a perfectly wonderful person!


wonderful person #10 : Adria Bouskos



lauded by the guys as an "unbelievably hot" "show stopper," andria was another oft-nominated wonderful classmate. fans admire her "scorching hot wardrobe, even when it's ten degrees outside," and proclaim her "the only reason i go to civ pro anymore." one fan gushed that being around andria "makes every day feel like springtime."

those who know her best say that she is "much more than just a pretty face" andria's "daring personality and fearless approach to life," is coupled with an "outgoing and engaging personality," all adding up to a "totally kick-ass" "adventurer" who enjoys "cliff diving, sky diving, scuba diving, and go-kart racing."

if you get to know andria, you'll find her to be "really nice" person with a "sensitive soul," who "turned out to be one of the best friends i ever hoped to find at a law school." that andria "knows how to work hard, and knows how to have fun" makes her a "well-rounded" and "basically awesome" person.

here's to you, andria... you're officially wonderful!